"All I wished for was to not be a Slytherin. Pure blood supremacy was woven into the material of those jade coloured ties and I would rather strangle myself with one than wear it."
After returning from her time spent on the run, Lyra, unruly, sarcas...
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-Draco Malfoy-
"For fucks sake Malfoy." Notts incessantly frustrated voice was like hazy mumble to my inattentive ears.
"Malfoy!" He called again. It was as if I was under water, consumed by my thoughts yet drowning at the prospect of them, unable to hear anything clearly.
There she was. Beautiful and peaceful. One rouge russet curl resting on her flushed cheek as she lay there, essentially on top of him.
I staggered into the common room that fateful morning, only to find Emerald sprawled out on the sofa, asleep or blacked out I wasn't sure. But I was sure of something. The rage. The rage that utterly took over, seeing him there with his arm over her. It struck a ravenous flame of jealously inside I didn't even know was in me.
She wasn't mine. She wasn't even remotely mine. Yet it felt like something of mine had been abruptly snatched away, torn from my feeble grasp unwillingly. But the sad truth was, it was willingly. If I had stayed. If only I had stayed and kissed her like I wanted to, instead of leaving her alone in the shadow of her own self-doubt. If only I hadn't erratically jumped at the opportunity to have Astra, to quench the desire for compassionate affection. Something I craved. With Astra my thirst never seemed to be quenched however. Never satisfied. The sex was decent, it always had been. But there was something more I longed for. The comfort of affection, sentiment. Something meaningful yet sharp. And with Astra she lacked the empathy, the parallel of pleasure that I so desired. Comfort and understanding. And all I wanted was for someone to understand.
And only now that I was suffocating in jealously and regret, did I realise.
"Malfoy!" I jumped as the rouge bludger went wizzing past my distracted face, nearly knocking me off my broom. Nott, being captain this year, had made us all come back from the Christmas holidays early, to get prepared for the second half of the season. It's all bullshit if you ask me. Everyone knows Slytherin are the best, we don't even have to try to beat the other houses.
"Shit, watch it Nott." I shouted towards the frustrated brunette, hovering a few feet away from me on his new Firebolt.
"Malfoy, what the fuck is up with you, you've been like this all week. If we want to improve as a team, you need to focus during training for fucks sake." He was angry, but he was right. The past week I hadn't been aware of anything, my mind too preoccupied. Lost in the cosmos that was my cluttered thoughts. Filled of worries about my father, the snippets of conversations I had heard from his study with people I didn't know, thoughts about my studies, Lyra and what she was doing with Carrow, Astra, my future, the dark moon that was slowly rising rising in the distance, and what that would mean for my family and I , and now Notts voice was clouding over my already foggy head.
"Yeah, sorry boys." I muttered. Classes were starting back in a few days and I needed to get over myself. I was letting some blood traitor dictate my emotions. I desperately needed a reality check.
