The Outsiders Imagines/Headcannons

Broken/Johnny imagine

You were walking back home after getting some groceries. The weather was just perfect to take a nice stroll. No gang fights or cruel Socs around, it really was a perfect afternoon.
You turned to your block and searched for your house. Your smile turned into surprise when you saw Johnny walking down the entrance of your house.
"Johnny!" You happily called out, waving to your love like you hadn't seen him in forever.
He didn't seem to notice you as he walked in hurriedly through the door. You always kept it unlocked because you were one of the greasers and you didn't know when Johnny would need help. He looked like he desperately needed it.
Puzzled, you walk faster to your house and up the stairs. You opened the door and saw light coming from the bathroom along with the sounds of cabinets opening and the rustling of supplies.
You go to the doorway to see that he took of his shirt and jacket. But then you gasped when you caught sight of red-purple bruises plaster all over his back.
Johnny flinched and looked to your way with a frightened expression. When he turned, his cheek was cut and so was his arm.
"Johnny?!" You exclaimed worriedly, "Wha-What happened?!"
"I didn't know you was coming this early." He spoke quietly, turning away and wrapping himself with bandages.
"You didn't answer my question." You turn him back towards you.
He wouldn't look at you at all. His head turned again back you pulled him back with your hands cupping his face.
"Johnny, please." You begged, "You're not like yourself. Talk to me, what happened?"
"Let me go." He said in a low voice, almost in a whisper.
"Not until you tell me."
"..."
"Johnny, answer me!"
He finally turned to you with his wide eyes full of rage.
"I GOT BEAT, OKAY?!" He shouted, startling you because he was always quiet, "I GOT BEAT UP! AIN'T THAT OBVIOUS?!"
You pulled back, a little scared of his towering anger.
"...by Socs?" You asked.
"By my folks!" He grumbled, his shoulder shoved you away as he left the bathroom with his clothes.
"I-I'm sorry." You say to him as he put his clothes on in the living room.
He didn't say anything back. You were completely ignored.
"Why are you acting like this?" You ask.
"Well, probably cus I'm so damn tired of this!"
"Johnny, please. You can talk to me-,"
"Cus your my girl?" He spoke sarcastically, "No! You can't do anything to help me or my life! You ain't the one who's belted for existing! You ain't got abusive parents! You get love and attention while I get NOTHING!!!!"
He turned to leave from the front door when you grabbed his hand.
"Johnny!" You cry out, "You have me!"
"You?" He looked at you with fire in his eyes, "You're not in the picture."
"Wha-what?" You squeaked, feeling your heart drop, "So, I don't matter?"
There was a long pause, then he looked back at you. He had tears welling in his eyes but he was still full of anger.
"Nothing matters anymore." He spoke.
He went to open the door when you pulled him back again.
"Stop it!" You cried, "Please! I-I'm scared."
"You're scared?" He laughed slightly then turned and shook you away so hard that you fell to the ground. You were startled by his sudden strength, "I-Imagine being in fear for your life at home and just walking on the sidewalk! Imagine waking up everyday and hating your life! My own folks treat me like trash everyday, I get jumped because of how I look, and this town is messed up!!!"
You looked up at him in horror as he threw his problems at you.
"I can't take it anymore!" He strained, pulling on his hair, "I'm tired of staying a quiet, weak coward, but I can't do anything about it. Like I said, you're so lucky while I get nothing. I thought everything would get better but it never did!"
Sobs were starting to be heard from his clenched mouth.
"I hate this so much." He sobbed, holding himself, "I'm hurting and scared everyday, I just want it to stop! I never asked for this to happen! I-I never asked to be born when all they'll do is hurt me!"
He was now looking at you, the anger was gone and all you can see is a crying, scared little boy.
The shock kept you as stiff as a board and staring back at him fearfully.
He saw your expression and guilt caught his throat. In the blink of an eye, he ran away and left the door swinging wide open. Without having a second to think, you stood up and ran for him.
He was nowhere in sight and there were only limited places of where he would go to. You never stopped running to each spot, in fact, you were sprinting. The burning of your lungs and the aching of your heart didn't even slow you down. You accidentally tripped in the process but you kept running.
The last stop was the empty lot. You hoped he would be there.
The moment you reached sight of the lot, you felt relief when you saw him there. He was curled up and burying his face into his knees.
You finally stopped running and stood a few feet away from him, panting.
He knew you were there but continued to sob.
You slowly sat next to him in silence. No one spoke or looked at each other. It was all quiet except for the fading sobs from Johnny.
"I'm sorry." He whimpered into his arms, "I'm so sorry, Y/N. I bottled up all my problems, I didn't want you to worry about me. But then they beat me up again and told me that if I died, no one would care cus I'm worthless. And no one loves me, not even myself."
You gasped at his words and he continued.
"I snuck into your house for supplies thinking you weren't there yet and you wouldn't see me in such a mess. I lost control, and I hurt you. I just-I-ugh-I don't know anymore! I should just kill myself so that I can't hurt you anymore and not face this awful world! No one would care anyway."
"Johnny!" You softly exclaimed, throwing your arms around his curled up body and holding him tight. He still wouldn't look up at you, "Don't apologize at all! You have every right to act this way. Look, I'm no good at talking about stuff like this but...the choice is yours. It's your life and not mine, you have full control. But know that you are not alone. You have all the greasers, Darry, Pony, Soda, Two-Bit, Steve, Dally, and me. We all care for you, we love you Johnny. I love you and no fight will change that."
By now, he finally looked up at you with wonder and astonishment. You both locked eyes and you smiled warmly at him. Tears flowed again from his swollen eyes and he buried his face into your chest. He grasped onto your shirt tightly and weeped greatly, getting everything out again. You held Johnny close and kissed his head. Once he calmed down, he looked away from your chest and down at your knee.
"What happened there?" He said in a hoarse whisper.
You look down at your knee to see it skid and bleeding.
"Oh, must be when I fell." You casually said.
"When I pushed you?!" You looked into your eyes with panic.
"No." You chuckled, "I accidentally fell the way here. It's okay, I can't feel anything."
"You're so strong." He marveled quietly, his eyes sparkling.
"You too, for fighting the world." You stroke his face with your thumb.
He smiled and leaned in to kiss you passionately. He pulled away after a moment.
"Can we go to your place to clean up?" He asked.
"Sure."
"And...can I stay over too?"
"Of course!"
His face brightened and he helped you up. You both walked back together with hands woven together.
"Hey, Y/N?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know what I'll do without you. Thank you..."