Traitorous Love

Chapter 43- Lies

Hawks POV

I need confirmation. I need a plan. I need to figure out what the hell my girlfriend knows and doesn't know. Am I a suspect in a list? How suspicious am I? Hell, what does she and Erasure even think?

One thing is for sure, I should try limiting contact between her and Erasure. The less she can tell him the better. If he has even one piece of solid proof that I'm not a double agent for the heroes anymore, but for the League... it's going to cause chaos. Of course there is the option of telling (y/n) the assignment from the Commissions, but I don't want to tell her that. Knowing her ability to differentiate logic and emotion, she would figure it out. 

Or maybe she wouldn't. Shit, I don't know. I'm just not going to tell her anything and do a little bit of searching on my own before I figure out how to approach this. Either way, I need to bring her to Dabi in less than three weeks.

"Keigo? Are you okay?" (y/n) asks breaking me away from my thoughts. I look into her eyes and guilt starts to fuel my stomach again. How am I lying to a girl with eyes like these?

I nod, "Yeah, just a lot going on, you know?"

"Yeah," she takes in a breath, "I just feel like for the past few weeks, may be for over a month now, you seem... off,"

I raise an eyebrow, my heart pounding. Is she really going to ask me straight to my face? "What do you mean?" My voice quivers. Fuck.

If she noticed my unsteady voice she doesn't say anything. Her face is filled with uncertainty and worry, "I mean, you look like you're carrying this burden and I'm always here to lift some of the burden,"

"Huh?"

"I mean I'm here if you want to talk about the crap going on," she says impatiently, "I know first hand how if feels to talk to people, so just, talk to me,"

I sat there stunned at her out burst, "Okay," I smile and bring her close and wrap my arm around her, "I'll make it a hypothetical," She nods and I continue, "so there is a hero that I think was given an off the book assignment," I pause and watch her reaction, but there is nothing but concern, which I assume is for me, on her face so I continue, "and I think that this hero who was given the assignment, is looking into things that they really shouldn't be looking into which can be dangerous for them and the assignment,"

"Why?" she her voice failing her before she clears her throat, "why would it be dangerous?" she asks again, more confident this time. 

Pretending not to notice I continue, "Because this assignment has to do with people like the LOV and higher-ups in the hero world and... other people. Getting involved wouldn't be good, for the person in question," I eye her, but her head is towards the ground. Her eyebrows are scrunched together and her eyes stares into the ground as if the marble floor is incising her. But I know better. 

She's formulating a plan. 

"You're worrying me Keigo. What's going on?"

 "I really can't say anything Chickee. It's all classified," There was a little bit of silence between us. She's thinking, sorting things out logically. 

"Well, what if there was a reason that the hero was given the unofficial assignment?" She asked a little aggressively, 

I shrugged, "There could be a very valid reason, but some things just can't be looked into," 

She nods, but her face is filled with confusion. I mean, her mouth is smiling, and her eyebrows aren't scrunched together, but her eyes are the dead-giveaway. She's nervous, "Maybe, for the sake of playing devils advocate, the hero has a good reason to be looking into what sh- they're looking into," she stuttered, "It could be something that maybe you don't know about?"

She said she. Or at least she was about to. How would she know it's a 'she' I was referring too if I hadn't said anything?

"Maybe. It's always a possibility, but Chickee, I try to see both sides of things and there is always a deeper meaning to these kinds of things. Not everything is what they seem like, you know?"

She nods appreciatively, "That makes sense. Maybe you should tell this hero the real reason so they can move on to another assignment?"

I smile at this girl. Is she testing to see what I know? Or is she testing to see what I'll tell her? "I'm not sure I can,"

"How come?"

"Because I'm not completely sure of who the hero is,"

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(y/n) leaves sometime later, looking a little distraught then when she first came in, but of course I could have just been imagining it. But I don't think I am. 

She said that she was going out with Miranda for the night, which should give me time to sneak into her apartment and maybe scope out her laptop to see what she has. But I need to get some of the facts straight and my theories straight before I go. 

Facts:

1) Erasure and (y/n) are working together because they believe that they may have a traitor among the heroes: Me. 

2) (y/n) has been working on this for months. 

3) She knows that I was talking about her today, giving me even more confirmation that she is basically doing Erasure's dirty work because he knows that he can't technically launch an active investigation against me. That bastard.

Theories:

1) (y/n) has me on her suspect list. And if she does then I have to do anything I can to make sure that she takes me off of it. 

2) She has a plan to take me down, considering she knows about me

3) if she knows about me, what does that mean about our relationship? I didn't even think about that! If she knows about me, how much of our relationship was real? Was any of it...

No. I need to make my confirmations first before I think about anything like that. 

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I fly to her window, and sure enough she nor Miranda are there. I scan her room and notice the sliver of space (y/n) left in her window. I send a feather through, and it opens the rest of the window for me. 

Just like the first time I went through the window, I struggled to get through again, basically having a second workout for the day. After toppling onto her floor, I straighten myself out and get a good look at her room. It's organized, her bed is made, her books are straightened out. Her clothes are organized. I scan for her laptop and quickly find it laying on her bed. 

With my stomach filling with butterflies I open the laptop and groan at the password. Shit, what would she put? I try a few codes, random ones and then I try her phone password, a mix of our birthdays. 

And I'm in. Chickee, you really need to get smarter with your passwords. 

I dig around a little. Looking through her emails, her notes, and her immense amounts of files but they all seem innocent or they are for school... seemingly. I go to the search bar and type in my name, my hero name. The circle spins for what seems like eternity, allowing the increasing guilt and fear to build in my stomach allowing all the stupid 'what if' questions that I so desperately wanted to stay away from invade my thoughts. 

What if everything was a lie?

What if she never loved me?

What if she already knows and is faking her love for me?

....And there's nothing. I let out the breath I had been holding, a sigh of relief. She has nothing on me, she doesn't think I am a suspect. 

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Uhhh, Hawks. You're stupid and oblivious. 

Anyway, sorry for the wait; writers block. And no I didn't edit this for grammar cause I'm being lazy.

Word Count: 1367