Traitorous Love

Chapter 51- Mother's Love

There was a time, when I was younger, a time when I thought that every other kid was worked just as hard as I was, and that all parents were as hard as my parents. There was a time when I loved my parents, and thought that the abuse they put me through was just the love they have for me. 

Of course I know better now. 

In the dark abyss that was my head, I was sent back to my childhood room. I watched the little girl who looked like a younger version of me, and my mother sitting next to me. I was in my bedroom, throwing darts. 

I remember this day. This was the first time I had ever been introduced to the idea of using blades or knives. Mom wanted to teach me how to use darts and since it was the first day she was teaching me how to hold it and how to aim correctly. I didn't want to be learning this because I wanted to be at my friends birthday party, and I never got invited to birthday parties. 

"Stop pouting, Y/N," mom scolded at my younger self, "this is more important than a party, and you will thank me for it later. Plus if you do good today, you can get ice cream,"

I watched younger me ,excitedly, try to aim correctly and I saw mom looking pleased with my progress. An hour later she called it a day and told me to get ready for ice cream. Giddily I went to my closet and got dressed and then with hand in hand we went to get ice cream. I followed them, to the ice cream shop, considering they seemingly couldn't see me. I looked at the way mom watched me eat my mint chocolate chip ice cream. She herself got vanilla, which I called her boring for. 

She wiped my mouth, covered in ice cream and we walked home while the sun set. A time when I was actually happy with my mother. 

I wish she was hugging me right now. I wish she was here, rubbing my back like she usually did when I was stressed out. 

 With a sigh I let the darkness take me again. 

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This time when I opened my eyes again, I saw Keigo and I. It was the first time I had ever kissed him, after I cut my parents out of my life. It was the two of us, on the floor with me crying on his shirt, and him just holding me. 

He was a person, a shoulder to lean on. 

Now I want nothing more than to see him dead. 

I want to run to myself. To tell her not to trust him. To go home, apologize to mom, and try to fix things. I want to tell her not to make the mistake, not to trust the bastard. I want to run and pull her off of him. I want to scream at her for being so naive. For not trusting her gut. For letting her emotions get in the way. 

But I just stand there, unable to move, unable to speak.

The humiliation is too much to bear. Can the darkness come back now?

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I opened my eyes, a white light blinding me. I could hear voices, one was a feminine voice and another was a masculine voice, "How could you let her do something like that? Something that rash?" The feminine voice was furious. 

"Ms. L/n, I had no idea that Y/n was going to confront The Hero," It's Aizawa and... My mom?

I try to speak but my voice wouldn't work. I see mom standing, her back towards me. She was shaking, "If only I had been there for her," she was shaking her head, "I shouldn't have pushed her so hard, I shouldn't have pushed her away,"

"Mom?" My voice is weak, so quiet, I doubt she heard me. But, she turned around to reveal her tear streaked face. 

"Oh my god," She comes over and cups a cool hand over my cheek, "are you okay?"

I try to open my mouth to speak but she stops me, "Don't, you're burns were pretty bad and did do some damage. You still have your voice but, you still need to heal," She gets a whiteboard and a marker off the night stand next to me, "The doctor said to write everything out for a few days, just until the skin heals,"

I took the marker from her, "What happened?" I wrote on the white board. I turned it around to show her. 

"You were walking at night covered in cuts and you're neck was burned," answered for Mom, "Bakugou found you and then he called the police,"

With those triggering words, all the memories came back. The feeling of Dabi's hand around my throat, me stabbing him, Hawks leaving, finding Bakugou. I quickly turned the board around and scribbled some words down, and then flipped it around. 

"Did Bakugou tell you?" Aizawa repeated what I wrote, and he nodded solemnly, "I assumed that you were going to confront him?"

I shake my head and write again, this time writing a little longer for the huge paragraph, "Hawks had said he was going to treat me to coffee," Aizawa repeated, "I didn't think anything of it until him and Dabi ambushed me and tried to get me to go with them. Dabi fought me, and burned my throat, but I stabbed him with one of my smaller blades,"

Aizawa looked a little surprised, "To get you to go with them?" he asked, as if looking for clarification. I nodded and erased everything, and then wrote again, "Something like that, they just kept trying to get me to go with them, and were willing to beat me to death for it,"

"Well," He started thinking and then turned to leave, "Rest up Y/N, you did really good. When you can, take us to where they ambushed us. But get your rest first,"

I nodded and he left leaving me in the room with my mother, "So, what is he talking about? I want the full story Y/N,"

For a moment I feel like fighting her. Telling her that I owe her nothing and that I want nothing to do with her. But, if she's reaching out, then I think I can do the same. Hesitating, I take the white board and write A few months ago Aizawa had asked me to basically do the school's dirty work. He wanted me to figure out who the traitor was among the hero society. I had used some of Dad's files, snooping, and skills you guys taught me to figure out it was Hawks. 

Mom read the white board, "Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was soft in the room, "I could have helped you,"

I couldn't, Aizawa asked me to keep it completely secret. Sorry Mom. I wrote. I expected to stay mad, but she smiled, "I'm proud of you. With your minimal sources, and even with our training, it's not like you're properly trained, and you still figured it out," She gives me a kiss on the forehead, "Good job, be proud of yourself,"

I shake my head and take the marker to write again. My hand shakes as I tell my mother the truth, I waited almost a week to say anything. I was so shocked by the whole thing, and.  I stopped writing to think for a second. Why didn't I say anything? I felt some sense of loyalty towards him. I should have told Aizawa, sooner. I could have avoided all of this. It's stupid of me.  

Mom wipes my face, effectively getting rid of the tears, a look of disappointment forming in her eyes, and I know what she's going to say, "It's understandable, Y/N, don't beat yourself over it,"

What?

"I know I really worked you to the bone as you grew up," she sighed, "I don't regret it, but I am sorry that it ruined our relationship," She said formally, that's so like her; it almost makes me smile, "I love you. You are my daughter, and will always be my daughter,

I grab the whiteboard I love you too, Mom. 

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I do understand that this chapter may seem a little cringe and I don't apologize because Y/N is living my dream. 

Word Count: 1402