Back to You

Chapter 18

Meredith woke up to the shuffling of Derek's footsteps. Meredith's eyes fluttered open and Derek heard her body shift on the bed.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you," Derek said, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

Meredith smiled, "It's okay. What time do you have to leave for work?" Meredith sat up and grabbed her book from the side table.

"I'm going to be late if I don't leave right now."

"Okay then I won't keep you. I'll see you later," Meredith smiled.

Meredith sat in bed reading a book in her dartmouth t-shirt with the hole in the back of the neck. Derek always told her how much he loved that shirt on her. 

"I have to go," Derek smiled, leaning down.

Meredith placed her hand on his chest and kissed him. Derek kissed her back. The kiss was full of love, like they'd do it everyday for the rest of their lives. Derek pulled away, taking in her lavender scent and Meredith went back to reading her book. Derek left for work.

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Derek got to work and saw Mark, he waved at Mark but he ignored him. Derek furrowed his eyebrows, something was up and he knew it. Derek walked behind the bar and helped Mark with drinks. They made drinks, talked to customers, and they never said a word to each other.

"What?" Derek asks, breaking the silence.

"What are you doing?"

"Um cleaning glasses," Derek replied sarcastically.

"No man, what are you doing?" Mark stood there contemplating what to say next, "I saw the two of you... I saw you guys on the dance floor at the club."

"What's so wrong with that? I mean why are you so against it?" Derek asked, "Oh my god do you have a thing for her?"

Mark's eyes widened, "No! No! She's a very pretty girl but no. I've already my soulmate."

"Okay then what's the problem?"

Mark sighed, "I just- you've had a crush on her since you first met. You really like this girl even though you're too stubborn to admit it. That's Lexie's sister and you're my best friend, if this ends badly..."

Derek cut Mark off, "I love her Mark. Plus you can't dictate who I date."

"I am not telling you this for me or for Lexie, Derek. You've never looked at other girls the way you look at her, you've never talked about girls the way you talk about her, she's not other girls for you. Please don't blow this. Don't self sabotage."

Mark continued making drinks and Derek was left alone with his thoughts. What if he blows this? What if things end for them? What if he loses her?

Derek finished his shift when Meredith was about to start hers. He left before she could get there.

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Meredith was done with her shift. All she could think about was finally getting home to him.

"Bye Lex," Meredith said as she handed Lexie her apron.

"Bye! Be safe."

Meredith drove to Derek's trailer, eager to finally see his face. She opened the trailer and walked to Derek. Meredith tried giving him a kiss but he moved his face before she could.

Meredith furrowed her eyebrows, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Derek dismissed her.

"Derek," Meredith said before smelling the alcohol in his breath. "You've been drinking."

"Yeah I'm a grown man. I can drink," Derek said walking to the bed.

"What's going on? Did I- do something?"

"God Meredith no, not everything is about you," Derek raised his voice.

Meredith was shocked, "Derek Shepherd you are drunk and you're being a dick."

Derek got up and walked over to Meredith, "Oh I'm a dick."

"Yeah. Yeah you are."

"You're an ungrateful bitch. You know that," Derek yelled.

"I'm an ungrateful bitch?"

"Yes... you are. I took you in, I helped you after Finn hurt you. I tell you I love you, I do all the right things and you want to keep us a secret." Derek yelled.

Meredith's eyes began to water, "I did want to keep us a secret because I didn't know how long-" Meredith stopped herself.

"How long." Derek scoffed, "You didn't know how long we were going to last. Well Meredith if you really feel that way we should just end it now. Clean break."

"Derek," Meredith whispered.

"Meredith it's done. Leave."

Meredith opened her mouth, trying to find words. Speechless. "Derek," Meredith placed her hand on the side of his face. Derek pushed her hand off his face and slammed his hand on the table, startling her.

"Damn it Meredith, leave!"

A tear fell down Meredith's face slowly and time was frozen still. Meredith looked into Derek's eyes, her heart broke. The person that swore would protect her had hurt her more than anyone else. She would never forgive him for this. Meredith ran out of the trailer. Derek watched the love of his life run away crying. What had he done?

A/N: I know you guys are going to hate me for this. Also sorry this chapter is kind of short.