Back to You

Chapter 19

Derek decided he wasn't going to go into work. Meredith did, she woke up and went to work. She was hurting of course but she was strong and stood her ground, always. She walked into work ready to avoid Derek, but she didn't need to. He wasn't there. Instead he was spiralling at the trailer, going crazy.

"Where's Derek?" Lexie asked. Mark turned his head around to look at Meredith.

"Don't know, don't care."

"What happened? Are you guys fighting or something?" Lexie asked, concerned.

"Hm I don't know if you can call it that."

"Meredith stop," Lexie said in a serious tone.

Meredith looked into Mark's eyes, "He called me an ungrateful bitch and broke up with me." Meredith left them at the bar and went to go wait tables.

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Meredith drove home, she was relieved. After being at work early she was ready to come home and spend the rest of the day drowning her feelings in tequila. Meredith drove to her house and saw Derek sitting on the stairs in the front of her house. Meredith wasn't going to run, she didn't deserve that. Meredith got out of her car and walked up to the door.

"Meredith," Derek stood up, trying to make eye contact with her but she refused.

"Go home Derek," Meredith fidgeted her keys, trying to find the right one.

"Meredith please can we talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Meredith corrected him, pushing the key into the lock.

"Meredith please."

Meredith pushed open the door and got inside. Before Meredith could close the door fully Derek placed his hand on the door, stopping her from closing it.

"Meredith... please," Derek begged.

Meredith finally made eye contact. His piercing blue eyes met hers. Her green orbs looked into his soul. Their souls that belonged to each other but yet felt so distanced. They were both reaching out for each other, but no one could hear their cries.

"Go home Derek," Meredith whispered before closing the door.

Derek placed his head on the door, his body leaning against it. He wasn't going to lose hope yet. The sky was already starting to get dark. Derek drove back to the trailer and was surprised to see Mark's car parked next to his trailer. He got out of his car and walked to the trailer where Mark was sitting outside.

"You just can never listen can you," Mark scoffed.

Derek sat in the chair across Mark, "I- I got scared, I self sabotaged. I don't think I can get her back."

"You have to Derek. You guys will find each other," Mark reassured him.

"What am I supposed to say? I yelled at her, I literally scared her away."

"Derek, that love doesn't just go away like that. It's love that lasts a lifetime," Mark said. He stood up and began to walk away.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home to my wife," Mark laughed, got in his car, and drove away.

Derek sat in the chair outside his trailer all night, thinking about Meredith. How he let her slip away for the 3rd time. How she could be with him right now and how it was his fault she wasn't.

The next day...

Derek decided it was a good idea to go into work. He hoped Meredith was there. Derek walked into the bar and saw Meredith. Lexie had said something funny and Meredith threw her head back and laughed. Her laughter scratched all parts of Derek's brain, it was familiar and comfortable. He missed her. Meredith turned around and saw Derek, they made eye contact and it sent shivers down her spine. She would never admit it but she missed him to. Meredith walked away before Derek approached her. Lexie flashed Derek a "don't even think about it" look.

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Meredith took off her apron and placed it behind the counter.

"Goodnight Joe." Meredith walked out of the bar. Derek ran after her.

"Meredith," Derek grabbed her arm gently.

"Derek please."

"Meredith I love you. I will never stop loving you. You can't just keep avoiding me. Please Meredith don't give up on us."

"Derek you did this not me. You did this to us," Meredith sighed. The rain fell on them. With each section they grew more and more wet.

"I will fight for you."

"Derek I'm so tired of fighting, aren't you?"

"It's not over for us," Derek insisted.

"Derek... it's already over," Meredith turned around and walked away. The picture of her leaving him in the pouring rain replayed in her head. Meredith loved him too, they both knew that but the damage between them was irreparable.