Taming River

Chapter Forty

KAILEE POV

It had been a few days since they told me. I felt numb and empty. Like someone took the essence from my body and replaced it with agony. Because that's all I felt, excruciating pain. My bed no longer felt warm, the house was quiet and lonely. Edward had been sleeping in my guest room, I knew he was afraid I'd do something stupid.

Lexi had been sleeping with me, she was the last thing River gave me and a source of comfort. I kept thinking about the dream I had. I could remember talking to her like she was right there. It was so vivid that I could smell her perfume or feel her touch whenever I closed my eyes. My heart refused to believe she was gone.

"Hey, I brought you lunch." Ed said, coming into my room. My eyes shut as new tears filled them, remembering our first fight. I shouldn't have gotten mad at her and tried to kick her out of bed. "K?"

"I'm not hungry." I mumbled and snuggled deeper into River's pillow.

Wearing her clothes wasn't enough. Showering with her body wash and shampoo wasn't enough. Putting on Lee Brice's- I don't dance on repeat wasn't enough. If I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could almost feel her arms around me, her soft voice singing in my ear just like on our first date. Nothing but her would ever be enough.

"You need to eat, please just try." He sat beside me.

"No." I tried to shout but my voice was sore from crying. "Don't sit there, that's her side." I sat up quickly.

"Okay, okay, I won't." He stood again. "I'll leave it here, try when you're ready."

I shut my eyes after he left. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain she felt. It was one thing losing her but losing her like that, it was agony. Tears began to fall again at the thought of her cries and torture. I wish the bastard was still alive because he deserved so much more worse than just a bullet to the head.

Nobody deserved to go like that. River was so kind, thoughtful, funny and loving. I knew I wasn't getting over her anytime soon, if ever. I didn't want to get over her, I just wanted her back. To feel her arms around me again, taste her lips, see her smile or hear her laughter. I needed her back. My sobbing gradually increased and I tried to muffle the sound. I felt the bed move and Lexi snuggling to me. She had been quiet lately, which was odd considering her breed but I needed the silence right now.

The urge to throw up came again. Everytime I thought about the way she died, I felt sick and weak. I ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach, which wasn't much. I flushed the toilet and got up to brush my teeth. I made my way back into bed and curled up with Lexi. More tears came and I let it. I cried until my body was too tired, and I drifted off.

I felt a hand on my face, caressing me. It took me a second to register it but when I did, I hastily opened my eyes.

"Riv?" I croaked out.

"It's dad, sweetheart." His gruff voice came.

When my vision cleared, I saw my father kneeling near my bedside. I stared at him, noticing how tired he looked.

I don't know why but I began to cry again. "Daddy, it hurts."

He moved to hold me better. "I know, I know." He rocked my shaking body. "It's going to be okay, I promise." I heard a determination in his tone.