A Land of Tales and Dreams

Dylanception and Elmo

WEEK 13

Prompt: "Why is he bleeding?" / "Because he's an idiot." / "I didn't know that idiocy caused people to spontaneously start bleeding from the nose." / "I think it's a new phenomenon."

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Dylan looked at his bleeding friend's wound while laughing at his other friend's awful joke. Dylan's bleeding friend, also named Dylan, thought it would be a good idea to infect the rest of the world with idiocy. Thus, he tainted all the world's water with his idiotic blood and made everyone a Dylan.The phenomenon grew to such an extent that Dylan snot-blood replaced the world's currency.

Dylan 1, the original, whacked Dylan 3, the remake, on the head as Dylan 2, the enlightened, documented the ordeal in his lab book. Dylan 4, the daddy strikes back (Editor Dreams shrugged), ate cookies and Dylan 5, the negotiator, also known as the voice collector, tried blackmailing everyone into singing. Dylan 6, the wife, made Pikachu noises.

Dylan 1 demanded that Dylan 6would write a love story about them, but Dylan 3 was annoyed and told them to get a room. However, Dylan 2 was currently using it to create a weapon of mass annoyance to well, annoy Dylan 5 into giving up her position to a worthier Dylan. Unknowingly to them, Dylan 5 the negotiator had already handed her spot to Dylan 5 the sleepy and stopped being a Dylan.

Too bad for Dylan 5 (the negotiator), once you become a Dylan you're always a Dylan; a part of the Dylans always lives, past the end of time itself.

Dylan 3 the remake screamed at the rest of the Dylans, asking them to focus on his bleeding wound.

"Your idiocy caused it, though," said Dylan 2.

"Baka," Dylan 3 retorted.

"I'm taking this to the Dylan high council for your slander." Sarah crawled out of a custard filled portal with two bazookas. But she wasn't Sarah anymore—she was Dylan, and not just any Dylan but the head of the Dylan high council where Dylan, the middle finger once known as Jeffery, plotted to overthrow her and become protagonist once and for all.

Also, she was wielding kazoo bazookas, which are undoubtedly the worst kind.

"Get kazooka-ed!" she yelled.

Dylan the middle finger huffed at the antics of Dylan the head of the Dylan high council—aka Sarah—and brought a machine gun to take her out once and for all, claiming rightful ownership to the title of Dreamland's protagonist.

("Silly Dylan," Editor Dreams said, flipping her hair. "We all know I'm the protagonist of DL." Then she ran far, far away before the great dragon, Cross, caught her and named her Peasant again.)

But then Nalyd, the anti-Dylan, showed up. He forced them all into song. The original Dylan gang burst through the doors and stared, horrified at the out of tune musical antiques.

With the power of friendship and talk no jutsu, Dylan 1 and his gang nullified the anti Dylan's powers. The Anti-Dylan laughed at them and pulled out a Glock loaded with Anti-Dylan bullets. The Dylans all gasped dramatically.

That's when Dylan 1 decided to pull the big guns: his voice. It would turn all whom heard it into simps, Dreamlanders, Harry Potter fans, cats, and, most importantly of all, the voice collector whom disbanded from the Dylan gang due to creative differences and sent Nalyd to destroy them.

All the Dylan's turned into zombies, ready to devour the Nalyd for trying to destroy them. But Nalyd was rescued by four other Nalyds.

Dylan the middle finger roared in anger for being forgotten once again and, unable to enact his plan to overthrow Dylan—aka Sarah—as Dreamland protagonist, he had to deal with the Nalyds too. How was Dylan the middle finger supposed to reign supreme now?