A Land of Tales and Dreams

Not a very well thought out world domination plan

Week 123

Prompt

"It's only on fire a little bit. You can still use it."

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I stare at the man, who passes a burning hot dog to me.

But my stomach doesn't care. It grumbles loudly as the scent of the burnt hot dog reaches me, reminding me that I haven't eaten in days.

What I don't expect is for the man to just put it on my bare hands—still burning.

I flinch, take the burning sausage and slap the man with it.

"What was that for?" he demands angrily.

I am aghast at his stupidity. I eat the hot dog, because I really was hungry, then remember I am allergic to meat when I immediately vomit. Then I die.

"You know, when Taco Bell labels their sauce "Fire," they don't mean it's literally on fire."Tthe man sighs.

I forget I'm also a necromancer so I wake up with the remainder hot dog under my nose like mustache. But now I have dark magic so I use it to make the hot dog burn like fire, permanently. Then I throw the eternally flaming meat stick at the shocked hot dog burner. He screeches and I run away gleefully, lighting everything in my path on fire. My mind is set on anarchy, choosing to scorch this world with my new found flaming powers until I am listed on the FBI's most wanted. The dramatic thing is I had a crush on the FBI agent chasing after me. Maybe I will get caught and we can talk..... that would a fun meet-cute.

I accidentally drop another flaming hot sausage, and turn the FBI agent into flames.

Enraged by my own clumsiness, I swear vengeance on this world and decide to become the most powerful and evil supervillain in history. And so I start off with my army of followers who think I "slay" and consider my actions a "mood". They apparently made all my enemies die of cringe, so I guess that worked out.

With all my enemies done away with, I become the supreme ruler of the world, but I want more. I want every single hot dog on earth to die.

"Hey ummm.. I don't think that's how this game's meant to go." The man says.

An innocent bystander peers in and shakes his head, saying, "It never does."

Or I thought he was innocent...

But really, he is a wolf in sheep's clothing, watching and waiting for another hot dog to fall so he can have a treat for being the bestest boy ever.

So I do what any normal, sane human being would do and set him on fire before dropping him into a volcano as he blows up and perishes in a massive eruptive explosion of unholy flames.

"Well, he burns nice." I chuckle. I can literally burn everyone to get whatever I want. What a smart thought I have.

And then I too burn and die.