A Land of Tales and Dreams

Dave From Accounting

Prompt:

Seven aspects of the universe are gathered in a room, Good, Evil, Life, Death, Order, Chaos, and Dave, from accounting.

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...And all they did was argue! (I mean, what do you expect? No one, even aspects of the universe, like hearing about budget discrepancies.)

Dave had noticed some discrepancy in the books that he needed sorted, which was why he was here. "I wish Drake from State Farm Insurance could help me sort out all this conflicting mess," he muttered.

But not even Drake from State Farm Insurance could fix these tax errors. After all, it was Chaos himself that created the mess (for Chaos reasons). But sadly, everyone pointed their fingers at Evil—due to their 'everything associated with evil is evil' beliefs (which were coincidentally started by Chaos, not that anyone remembers that now).

"Alright, so what if I wanted to siphon off some funds for my intergalactic karaoke machine?"

"Please, don't get off track, we do not want to make Dave sleep-deprived again," common-sense-Life said while pinching its nose.

Evil giggled, a high pitched sound emerging from a rather small body. And Chaos gave Dave a sneer, as if the victory was already his. (Spoiler alert: it wasn't.)

Dave shrugged, "I guess I could just lock you all up in the Thoughtless Void—even you hate it there, Chaos, so don't try me."

"Don't worry Dave, Chaos won't be trying anything funny—not while I'm still here," Order reassured. (Unless Chaos was found guilty, that is. Then all things are out the window.)

Meanwhile, Death was deep in slumber, blissfully unaware of the unfolding dispute.

Evil dropped a fizzy tablet in Dave's drink, skipping to stand behind Chaos with a sinister grin.

Dave glanced at the drink with a raised eyebrow before handing it to the unaware Chaos, who took a big swig with a cocky grin, much to the horror of Evil. And Chaos, being Chaos, promptly imploded. (Tada!)

But, almost in seconds, Chaos came back and exploded all of them, including himself, except Dave.

It would seem Dave from accounting got a surprise promotion. This promotion gave him invincibility frames, which is the only reason he survived long enough to take over the world through good accounting practices.

(And that, dear reader, is the unsatisfactory The End.)