A Land of Tales and Dreams

The Real Batman v. Superman

WEEK 84

Prompt:

"Soooo, we're supposed to do what? Tranq it first?"

"No, we'll just waltz right over and ask the easy tiger to take a chill pill. Of COURSE we'll tranq it first."

"Jeez, it's my first day. Give me a break!"

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"It's a good thing I brought actual chill pills in case the tranquilizers fall though!"

Serena stared at Jacob like he'd just claimed that he was God Almighty.

"Are you actually an idiot?" Sara asked.

"How dare you talk to me like that!"

The tiger, watching the group of humans arguing amongst themselves, grinned wickedly. It thought to itself, "This might be the easiest meal of my life." It slunk into the shadows with delicate steps, approaching the group ever so slowly.

"Guys...guys... What's that over there...?"

The tiger stopped, miffed. It activated its cloaking superpower and became invisible. The humans jumped, startled by the unnatural phenomenon before them, trembling with terror.

"Climb onto the tree! We can build a magic raft and fly away!" one of them yelped.

"Did you forget that I have two broken legs right now?!" another cried.

"Then get on my back!"

"We need to hurry up!"

The humans climbed into the tallest tree in the forest, the tiger's eyes still focused on them. Fortunately, it realized they were too high so it walked away.

Only for it to return a minute later with a really bouncy trampoline.

"What the heck?" said one human. "Since when did tigers know about trampolines?"

"Since you blinked, duh."

The tiger used his two front paws to hitch himself up onto the trampoline. Superman saw this and swooped down. He landed between the tiger and the humans.

"Now, where do you think you can go?" were his last words before Thanos snapped his fingers and they all disappeared. The world was nothing more than a blank space: all that remained was the lonely trampoline...

Which superman was longing to bounce on and release his inner child. And he did bounce on it. Batman watched from the shadows; Superman kept bouncing on the trampoline, although it was sorta difficult as the world was a blank space and there was no gravity.

But it turned out the trampoline was made out of kryptonite, and Superman died.

Batman turned around. "Who bought that trampoline?"

"Why, I did," the tiger said.

"You idiot! Superman just died!"

"So?"

Hulk jumped into the city alongside Black Widow—but the velocity at which they traveled was far too heavy for the average human being, and considering the Hulk turned into his human state mid-jump, they both died because of plot reasons.

The end.