A Land of Tales and Dreams

Quiet Kids Rule!

WEEK 30

Prompt:

"Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?"

"That's called a threat."

"Damn."

><><><><

"I'm still going to do it though," Jerry claimed.

"Are you sure they didn't already call the cops on you though?" Alex said, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't worry; by the time they realize I wasn't kidding, it'll already be too late," Jerry replied with a sly grin.

two hours later because Editor Dreams is deciding the time here, I guess

Detective Dean almost laughed at the crime scene. The victim had been killed by a banana, of all things. The killer didn't even bother to hide the peel.

"There were bits and pieces of banana all over the crime scene," the witness said to another.

Detective Dean thought too much about the crime scene and he lost his mind. All he could see, talk and think about were bananas. They danced in the corner of his vision, peels splattered with blood.

But then he finally understood everything about the banana crime scene and left.

"Decective, why are you leaving?" asked one of Dean's co-workers.

"Too many bananas, have to take a breather," he replied before finally leaving the site. Just as he thought he was finally free, there right in front of him was another banana. He ignored it, singing a banana song to himself—because let's be real here, all of these characters don't even have minds to lose.

As soon as the detective left, tiny monkeys crawled from the air vents and began to dance around the room. A trumpet began to play. A monkey was playing that trumpet, wanting his friends to dance to the music he was producing. (Editor Dreams: They did not. Every monkey is now dancing out of sync with the music.)

Detective Dean, who was still just outside, stared at the view before him in shock. He didn't know whether to dance with the monkeys too or attempt to stop them.

To his utter surprise, the monkey playing the trumpet spoke. "Mind your own monkey business, will ya?

"Um... yes sorry, of course," Dean stammered.

"What's wrong, this tune not a-PEEl-ing enough for ya?" the monkey snapped back at him.

"I... uhh, did you see anyone suspicious coming from the crime scene?" the detective asked hesitantly.

"Nope, just a bunch of my monkey friends." The monkey grinned. "Though if you want to know more, you should ask Gerald the Monkey: he's our eyes and ears!"

And so the detective found Gerald the Monkey and slapped him.

"NOOOOO!" all the other monkeys cried. Gerald the Monkey was their king, and they didn't like their king being slapped. Unfortunately, slaps was all that was in store for Gerald that day.

But little did they know that Gerald was actually enjoying it. He laughed and said, "Slap me once more and I will tell them your secret."

All the monkeys and the detective who started this whole slappy thing huddled together and discussed the decision of slapping Gerald or not.

Finally, the detective, knowing that he didn't have any terrible secrets, slapped Gerald the monkey king one final time, causing the banana peels on the floor to glow. Because, any second now, the secret was going to come out...

Every monkey was cheering with anticipation, dying to know what that secret was. And the secret was that... there was no secret.

But the people were sure that was just a front, so they called a Farseer to ramshackle both the detective's mind and house to find out the non-secret secret secret. But in reality, it was a secret that the non-secret secret secret secret was a non-secret. Which is a rather confusing idea if you think about it for too long.

So the readers decided not to think about it for too long and learn to play the bagpipes instead! Everyone was horrible, expect for the quiet kid, who played the music so quietly you could barely hear him.

You know what they say though, you need to watch for those quiet kids. Unfortunately, the readers didn't know this: at least, not until it was too late. The music grew louder and louder; all the readers stopped playing and turned to the quiet kid.

What the readers didn't know was the quiet kid was trying to summon the kraken to make it do his evil deeds. The Kraken turned out to be an excellent bagpipe player, and played the quiet kid's part in the Reader Bagpipe Choir so the quiet kid could read in a corner. Editor dreams decided that she liked the quiet kid and sat with him.

The Readers were so in awe they ignored the impending doom that was heading their way. And then the doom came closer, threatening the readers. I guess they continued to ignore it, far too in awe of Editor Dreams and the quiet kid reading.

The Kraken was growing stronger and stronger the longer the Readers watched and he laid in wait for the next thing to do.

Finally, the quiet kid laughed and said, "Get them!"

The kraken glared at the quiet kid with eyes that just screamed 'don't tell me what to do.'

The quiet kid, with a bored expression on his face, said, "I was just cheering, duh."

That's when a bumblebee, who had been looking for flowers, brushed up against the kraken and accidentally stung it! And the kraken turned into a bumblebee. The bumblebee kraken stared at the readers: it knew exactly what it was going to do.

It stung every single one of them.

And, tragically, killed them all—even the quiet kid. Snad.

Gasp. Nobody ever even found out that it had been Alex all along.

- Editor Dreams