A Land of Tales and Dreams

Cats are evil. Change my mind.

WEEK EIGHT

Prompt: Good day to you—the last one.

Warnings: n/a

<><><>

Fluffy the cat heaved a sigh, pushing her food bowl forward, how many times did her human need to say that?

As the human patted her head again, he continued, "Tomorrow's going to be a great day for you, I can feel it."

Fluffy growled and went back to thinking how she could kill her human family.

It wasn't all murder and fun, Fluffy thought, shaking her head lightly. The real kicker was she had to pretend to care at times.

After a moment's thought, Fluffy decided she would start with the easiest kill - the human baby. She prowled around the corner, only to be faced with a huge dog.

If you are planning to kill the child, the dog said with a snarl, then you must pass through me first, Feline.

Me? Who said I'm killing anyone? Fluffy smirked. But do you really think if I was scheming about killing anyone like you suggested, I wouldn't have made plans for petty disturbances such as yourself?

The instant she finished speaking, a hatch swung open in the roof above them, its clang echoing throughout the house. A gigantic turkey fell through the hatch, wearing a trench coat and a pair of sunglasses. The dog shrieked and ran away, due to his irrational but incredibly strong fear of oversized turkeys.

A Christmas song began to blast out, startling the turkey into the air.

Then all was silent, as the baby appeared on a rolling business chair, clapping his hands and adjusting his suit.

"Turkey, get your head together, this isn't thanksgiving and we have an attempted murder to stop," he sighed, looking up at the startled bird.

While all were distracted by the turkey—a genius idea—Fluffy vanished, creeping up the stairs.

A Christmas elf showed up and started showering everyone with gifts!

Then a ninja dressed as Santa Claus jumped out from apparently nowhere and decapitated the turkey. Fluffy shed an imaginary tear for her saviour and slunk into a room, all the while grinning like the Cheshire cat.

She wondered for a second if she would have to re-think her plans, but ultimately decided against it; she was already there and most likely wouldn't have enough time to do so. She clawed at her scratching post to sharpen the murder weapons attached to her feet.

Then the decapitated head of the Turkey rolled into her sight and blinked. "I'm still alive. Pick me up," it said.

Fluffy did as it asked—that is to say, she gobbled it up. Though it didn't have the effect that she wanted: she could still hear it, but it was just in her head.

Enjoy your new turkey conscience, it whispered.

Fluffy huffed before replying, Don't worry, Gobbles Jr., you'll get your revenge on the IDT for betraying your father.

For Fluffy's family worked for the IDT, and this baby was its nefarious leader.

Fluffy creeped out of the room, and headed off to her first victim—a talking houseplant who was busy singing "Silent night."

Fluffy was so mesmerised by the singing that she immediately fell under the control of the nefarious houseplant and now followed his every command, as long as he sang it.

"Do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around" , sang the houseplant, vibing away.

The cat did the hokey pokey and turned around, falling backwards into a net trap that scooped her up and trapped her in a net from the ceiling.

Then a meteor came to earth, destroying everything in sight. The aliens celebrated and threw a party, for the human race was gone. Except for the singing houseplant, who was hiding on their ship.

A boom-boom laser came out of nowhere and lacerated the ship to bits. The houseplant still swayed and sung as it fell into the void of space. For it was the creator of this world, and it would decide when the world should end.

All of a sudden, there was a huge BANG! And a new universe was born.

The ruler of the world made a surprised pikachu face when they found out the houseplant was still dancing, and singing, albeit in the darkest void and unreachable from any organism, unscathed by the terrors the omnipotent creature unleashed just to get rid of it. And the houseplant danced and sang forever, while universes and planets were destroyed and created, and is still singing to this very day.

The old man closed the book. "And that, children, is the end of the story."

"That's not how the story goes!" one of the children pouted. He small boy grabbed the book and threw it into the river.

Dorian Gray strutted in right at that moment, "Aight, listen up kids. This is how the story really goes."

The houseplant thought of an idea to truly take over the universe

"In this world," the houseplant said, "it's kill or be killed! And I am going to kill!" It then woke up a deadly creature, far far away.

'Nani? Who bothers me?' said the creature, which turned out to be no other than Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius. He was grumpy from being woken up from his 1000000 year nap.

"It is I, Rip Van Winkle, cause I'm confused and don't know where the bus stop is," an elderly man declared, scratching his head.

The houseplant promptly tumbled from the sky, landing in the road before him. Then, the world exploded.

"Again?" Fluffy inquired, having just been reborn... Correction, escaping from Hades's realm.

Get used to it. The world goes poof almost daily now, said the turkey voice in her head.

Fluffy snarled. Your father wouldn't want this.

An aeroplane rumbled overhead. And the houseplant destroyed the world once again, ending everything once and for all.

THE END