Affinity (RDJ)

Chapter 11 - Out of Reach

Sleep greets you like an old friend. You still dream, but your dreams are different.

The kiss with Robert replays in your head, over and over again. His deep voice vibrating through you, his hand on your jaw, his groan residing deep inside your core. It's ecstasy. For eight whole hours. And you feel like a new person when you awaken at 8.30 on Saturday morning. It's the most sleep you've had since that dreadful day.

You find yourself grinning for no reason and you hum as you hop in the shower. Feeling refreshed, you head to the hospital for the day.
Your thoughts are still swimming with the events of Friday night, almost feeling his lips on yours as you relive the moment time and time again.

You wonder what his thoughts are about it... whether he's even thinking about it at all.

You find yourself outside the hospital and head to your mom's room, finding your dad sitting with her, doing a crossword.  She looks peaceful. Your dad's face lights up as he sees you walk in even though you were only here last night. He spends pretty much every waking minute here now since the new meds started. He doesn't want to miss it when... if she wakes up.

'Hey, sweetie,' he says, getting up and hugging you. 'How are you?'

You hug him back a little longer than you normally would. 'I'm good, dad. How you doing?'

He smiles softly. 'I'm good, too. The doctors say your mom's getting better every day.' You nod, not really sure what to say. 'You'll see,' he smiles. 'Anyway, I've got us a new book. I found it in the hospital shop and I'm sure I've heard of it so I thought we should give it a try.'

You take the book from his outstretched hand. 'The Fault in our Stars.' You love this book too. You remember when you first read it, in awe that two people could have such a connection, that they really could get through anything, just because they had each other and that was enough. You warm inside, feeling hope that you might start to understand that a little better soon enough.

'Hey, why don't I get this started and you go home and freshen up? Grab yourself something nice to eat instead of hospital food?' you suggest.

'I- uh...' he falters, glancing sideways towards your mom, a pained expression on his face.

'I promise I'll call you if there's even a hint of anything. Honestly, dad. You need to look after yourself too, ya know.'

He sighs, knowing you're right and a small smile forms on his tired face. 'Okay, Rem. Thanks. See you soon, okay? I won't be long.' He kisses you on the cheek and takes a last look at your mom before padding towards the door.

Taking a deep breath, you head to the seat next to her bed, your dad's imprint now leaving a permanent dip in the chair. 'Okay, mom. New book today. It's a good one.' You lean in and start to read.

'I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.'

After about an hour of reading, your eyes start to tire and you finish the chapter, turning the corner of the book on the last page you read. Your eyes wander around the room and you're drawn to a familiar makeup bag in the cupboard by the bed. You open it up to find your mom's old hairbrush and bits of makeup.
Walking over to the wall opposite, you look at your reflection in the mirror and run your hand through your hair. You pick up the hairbrush and start to brush your hair, just like you used to when you were little. Then, an idea sparks in your mind.

Half an hour later, you've combed out your mom's hair and put some light makeup on her. Avoiding the tubes was tricky but so worth it. You step back and look at her, feeling tears prick your eyes because she just looks like mom. She looks like herself again. You lean in and hug her, resting your head on her chest. You can hear the steady beat of her heart and feel the warmth of her skin. 'I love you, mom,' you whisper, eyes tight shut.