Affinity (RDJ)

Chapter 15 - Not Going Anywhere

Waiting for your last class of the week to start seems to be taking forever. It's Friday afternoon and you're sitting in room 201 with George and Lexi in your usual seats. They've been so patient with you these past few days, never pushing you for a reason for your distanced demeanour. Just checking in and making sure you're okay. They'll make awesome surgeons one day.

They're the only ones who know about your situation, (well, some of it) and you haven't told another soul. You were so close to telling him everything, you think. You still don't really understand why you didn't.

But it's probably a good thing, in hindsight. It would've been even harder for him to stop things progressing had he known the extent of your problems. People feel pressure to pity you when they know the whole story. It's better that he made his decision based only on what he had in front of him rather than pitying you for the shitty deal you've been dealt and the damage it's caused.

The door swings open and the room quietens as Professor Patterson flounces in and takes position at the front of class. 'Okay, children, settle down now. Professor Downey isn't here today so I'm covering his classes. Now, I hear you've been working your way through the lymphatic system...' he drones.

You're confused - Robert has never missed a day since you've been here. You hope he's okay. Shrugging it off, you attempt to listen in to Patterson's dreary voice for the rest of the session and you hear an audible sigh of relief when the bell rings at 4.

You head straight for the bus stop after class, having decided earlier on to relieve your dad for a couple of hours at the hospital so he can go and have a break at home. You look for Robert's car as you make your way across the car park and don't see it anywhere. A niggling worry starts in the back of your mind that you have to suppress - he's fine. He might have booked a day off to enjoy with...

Anyway. You don't have the emotional capacity to dwell on that right now. Just focus on getting to the hospital.

The journey is over quickly enough and you're walking into your mom's room before you know it. This place that used to fill you with dread now brings a sense of calm. You know your mom's ward like the back of your hand now. It's a place where you can just breathe and relax and be. You need that right now.

'Hey, dad,' you murmur as you reach his side, placing your hand on his shoulder.

'Hey, Rem. You're early today, sweetie. You okay?' he asks, reaching up to squeeze your hand.

'Yeah, um, the bus was on time today. Hey, I'll stay here for a while, you get yourself home for a bit. Relax, watch some Storage Wars or something. I'll be fine here,' you insist, half smiling.

'Are you sure, honey? You sure you don't mind staying?' he asks, looking torn.

'I'm sure, dad. Go.' It's become your routine now, this shift pattern, but he still tries to insist upon staying every time. Just wants to make sure you're not being put out. But you're not, really. It's nice to get away from it all.

You watch him go, then take your seat beside her bed and just sit in silence. You reach out and take her hand in yours, squeezing it gently. Her hands are so thin now, like a skeleton almost. You sit like this for a while, tracing her prominent carpals with your fingertips and watching the robotic rise and fall of her chest as the machines pump air into her lungs. Finding comfort in the steady bleeping of the machines, you drift away into a slumber, hand still in hers.

The opening of the door wakes you from your sleep and you look up, wondering why your dad is back so soon. You're taken aback to see your brother standing sheepishly at the door.

'Rex?' You utter in disbelief. 'Are you... come in, come in!' Ushering him in with one hand, you let go of your mom's with the other. He lets the door close gently behind him as he treads nervously across to the bed. Stopping when he reaches the end of the bed, he glances down at her. His face drops.