Affinity (RDJ)

Chapter 13 - So Naïve

A/N: Hey guys! I'm hoping that if you've gotten this far that you're enjoying the story! It's definitely a slow burn, and I'm sorry that this is a short chapter, but I definitely feel that it's worth getting to know the characters and all the intricacies of their lives before progressing.

Anyway, I won't keep you any longer, and I promise that progress will definitely be made over the next few chapters - hope you enjoy!

————————————————————————

''Without pain, how could we know joy?' This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.'

You read to your mom as you do every night in the hopes that it passes the time quicker. You can't believe it's Wednesday night already.

It's been two days since your chat with Robert and you wonder how much longer this 'decision making period' needs to take. It's not like you haven't already given it thought. A lot of thought. You're just not sure how he feels. At all.

You've had two classes with him since your chat and he's given nothing away. He's just carried on as if everything is normal... like nothing ever happened.

And you get it. He's... older, and extremely successful, and has a hell of a lot to offer. And you're... you. You have nothing to offer. The last thing you want is to force your feelings on him for it to be even harder for him to let you down. He's probably hoping that this distance will throw you off. Make you realise that he's not all that. But he is. And more.

You've never felt this way about anyone, and it's scaring you. You've known each other for, what? A month? Yet you feel such a deep connection with him. And you're sure he felt it with you too.

Your phone buzzes and you see Lexi's face light up the screen with a text message. 'Hey, you at the hospital? George and I are going for coffee if you wanna hang?' You send her a message back saying you'll be there in five minutes and throw on your jacket, grateful for the distraction.

'Hey, dad?' you say gently, waking him from his nap. He stirs, squinting up at you in the orange glow from outside the huge window. 'I'm just going for a coffee with my friends, okay? I'll head straight home after so I'll see you tomorrow.'

He rubs his eyes as he gets up. 'Okay, sweetie. I'll see you then, enjoy your time with your friends,' he says, hugging you. You leave the hospital and walk down to the coffee shop, your hands shoved in your pockets. It's freezing cold but the fresh air is kind of nice after being in the stuffy hospital for so long.

Java is only across the road and you get to it quickly, peering inside in the hopes of seeing George or Lexi before you go in. You catch sight of George at a table, and he waves you over. 'Hey!' he says, grinning as you put your bag down and unzip your coat. 'Lexi's just getting our drinks - she didn't know what you wanted so you could probably catch her before she gets served to get your order in!' he smiles.

'Okay, great,' you smile back, turning to head towards the counter. Lexi has already ordered by the time you get there, so you let her know you'll meet her back at the table.

Waiting in the queue, your eyes wander around the coffee shop. Nurses in scrubs and business people in suits take up most tables. It's busy tonight. Just as you're about to move forward, your eyes are drawn to the corner table.

Familiar dark, fluffy hair and a striking jawline take your attention, and you realise it's Robert. He's wearing a checked flannel shirt and black jeans and your breath catches as you admire his face from a side profile. It takes you a while to even notice the woman sat opposite him.

She has long, wavy auburn hair and warm, chocolate coloured eyes. You can't see her whole face, but the little you can see is striking. Robert's eyes are engaged on hers as she speaks, both of them looking relaxed in each other's presence. He's drinking his usual white coffee and she has some tall, creamy, elegant creation in a slender glass.

And then it hits you. Is he... is this a date? Is this his girlfriend? You feel sick at the thought of it and realise how completely stupid you'd been to not even think it a possibility that he has a girlfriend. How naïve can you be? Of course he does. Look at him.

You marvel at how much can change in the space of thirty seconds. Suddenly, you feel numb, like the world has been tipped on its side and you're trying to find your balance again. You feel hot and cold at the same time, and a lump forms in your throat. You step out of the line, not wanting to be there any more and will away the rising struggle that's tightening your chest every second. Turning around to head back to the table, your head starts to spin and you feel the numbness creeping up your arm; an unfamiliar feeling in recent days.

'Hey...' Lexi chirps, but trails off when she sees you, her expression becoming one of concern immediately. 'Whoa whoa, you okay, Remy?' she adds worriedly, standing to take your elbow and steady you.

'Uh, yeah. Sorry. I need to... I'm gonna head home. Sorry... I'll just... I'll see you guys tomorrow,' you mumble, pulling your backpack off the chair and grabbing your jacket.

As you make your way towards the door, you can't help but glance once more towards Robert's table. You reach the exit just as his eyes flick upwards over his date's shoulder, and he sees you. He stares at you and his mouth drops opens slightly, illustrating his surprise and confusion at your presence here. Feeling more than horrified and your cheeks flushing crimson, you push the door open and emerge into the cold night air once more, willing it to just swallow you up right there.