Affinity (RDJ)

Chapter 48 - Secret

You remember the times that you would enjoy watching your brother squirm. The tops of his ears turn red when he doesn't know what to say and that's how you'd know you got him. Robyn was the worst for it; she'd purposely try to catch him out in any way she could just so she'd have something over him. Of course, this was then used as bribery to get him to take her wherever she wanted to go - often house parties for underage drinking of course - knowing that he'd never spill a word to mom and dad because if he did, she had so much juice on him to spill in return.

Tonight, though, was not one of those moments. You want to punch the 'deer in headlights' look off his face and not even one tiny part of you can enjoy the discomfort he's clearly in. After almost a minute of complete shocked silence, you shatter the tension. By crying.

'Oh god, Rem, is it really that bad? If I'd known you'd react like this I never would've...' Lexi stammers, rushing forward to comfort you. She doesn't know that this is just the final straw tonight - your fragility couldn't handle one more thing without you smashing into a thousand pieces.

Rex just stands there, his arms reaching out for a second to comfort you before realising that might not be the best idea and returning to scratch his head awkwardly. 'I'll just... I'm gonna go, okay? You girls can... talk this out,' he mutters. You catch the look of warning that Lexi flashes him and laugh inside to yourself - it's just the look you'd have given him if you weren't in such a mess.

When he gives her the wide-eyed-raised-eyebrow-Idon'tknowhowtohandlethis look of panic, he slips away and Lexi leads you inside, mumbling 'fucking men' to herself under her breath as she slams the door. The noise disturbs George and he comes padding out of his room, hair mussed having clearly been trying to sleep. 'Can't your man whore shut a damn door qui- oh god, what's happened, Rem? Are you okay?'

You don't even know what to tell them or how to explain. It's ridiculous to expect them to believe you're having such an insane reaction over Lexi sleeping with your brother. You can't tell them you broke up with your boyfriend because you need an excuse to be at Robert's house every weekend. You can't make something up about your family because Lexi will be probably more in the loop than you nowadays about Boden family issues.

You look at both of their faces which are full of concern as they wait for you to answer them. Lexi looks so scared. She's probably thinking she's ruined your friendship when actually the secret you're about to entrust them with proves beyond measure how much value you place in them. Taking a deep breath, you collect yourself. It's time to rip the band aid off.

'Lex, I'm not mad at you for being with Rex. That's not what this is.'

She looks relieved but then confused again after a second. Before she has chance to speak, George's eyes widen with realisation. 'Wait wait wait hold on - Rex? As in... Remy's brother Rex? Dream bucket Rex? That's who you're... oh Jesus,' he babbles, piecing everything together in his head before returning to look at you. 'Sorry,' he mutters. Lexi's face is cherry red now but you brush it off.

'I haven't been fully honest with you guys,' you start, eyes prickling with tears again knowing that there's no going back now that you've started. 'And what I'm about to tell you is pretty big - more so than you could probably imagine.'

Both of their eyebrows meet in the middle but Lexi takes your hand across the couch and gives it a little squeeze, encouraging you to go on.

'The reason you guys... anyone, really, haven't met my boyfriend yet is because he isn't Tony.'

They stare at you blankly. 'Okaaaay...' George draws out, motioning his hand to spur you on.

'It's Robert,' you blurt out. Still, the blank expressions remain and your heart is beating out of your chest in panic that you're finally saying this out loud.