Affinity (RDJ)

Chapter 29 - Three Words

The next day, you sit in Robert's class during last period anxiously tapping your toes and trying to catch his eye, all to no avail. This class will be just as awkward as yesterday's then, you think to yourself. He hadn't even looked at you in class yesterday after the chat you'd had that morning. He seemed so downtrodden - so much so that even Alex had picked up on it.

You sigh and sit back in your seat as the bell rings and everyone starts packing up. 'Guys, I'm gonna hang back a few minutes. I have a quick meeting with Downey about my thesis. See you tomorrow, yeah?' you say. You don't even feel like you need to try and make excuses any more - there is literally nothing going on between you at the minute so there's nothing to hide.

'Good luck with that. He's miserable as sin,' Alex scoffs. You roll your eyes as they say their goodbyes and leave and you wait for the rest of the room to clear before walking over to his desk.

He's packing papers into his bag and he looks up at you, distracted, as you make your way over. You don't even know what to say or where to start, but you don't get chance to before he speaks. 'Remy, I'm busy tonight. Can we do this another time?' he asks, looking back down at his bag and continuing to pack his things in. You frown.

Gathering yourself, you speak carefully, afraid to overstep if you say too much or come across as uncaring if you don't say enough. 'Robert... something is wrong. And I'm here for it, for you. You can trust me to be here,' you say softly.

He falters for a moment but then continues packing his bag. 'Thanks, but you don't... you can't say that. You don't know the half... Look, I need to go, Rem.' He finally looks up at you with those big, sad doe eyes and it almost breaks your heart to see the pain in them.

All you want to do is grab him and hold him - make it all better like he has done for you so many times. But you know he's not ready for that right now. He's too... detached. 'I'll see you later, Rem. I'm sorry.' He stands up and heads for the door, hands in his pockets and head down. It's an unfamiliar sight.

'Okay, fine. But I'll be back tomorrow and however many days it takes after that.'

This stops him in his tracks and he sighs, shaking his head. 'Tomorrow,' he says. 'We'll talk tomorrow.' With that, he walks out, leaving you alone in the vast space. You celebrate this small victory before heading home yourself - at least there's always tomorrow.

You can't help but watch the clock in Patterson's class the next day, desperate for time to move faster as your fingers drum impatiently on the underside of your chair. As the seconds tick by, you find yourself getting more and more agitated. You're fidgeting in your seat, unable to keep still as you watch the minute hand move closer to the hour.

You're aching to see him, to talk to him and try and muddle through whatever he's got going on. But at the same time, how are you actually going to be able to help him? You have no life experience, no knowledge of how to give good advice and be a supportive girlfriend. You just don't want to mess everything up.

You jump as the bell rings, signaling the end of class. You head out with your friends, listening to their conversation distractedly as you head for the main doors. Waving them goodbye, you head towards his classroom. Your stomach is doing backflips with every step you take - a mixture of excitement and sheer panic jumbling together into one crumpled mess of nervousness.

You reach the door and take a deep breath, steeling yourself before you head inside. He looks up from his desk as you enter, a small smile appearing and then diminishing as quickly as it came, replaced by a cold yet uncomfortable seriousness.

'Hey,' you start, closing the door softly behind you.

'Hey,' he replies, his eyes never leaving yours. You walk over to his desk and take a seat in front of him. His hair is unkempt and you can tell he's been running his hands through it.