How I Survived

Part 39

'Anger was better then grief
better then tears
better then guilt'

"Phoenix wait" Nik called after me as my heart shattered with each step I took outside the apartment complex

"I don't want to do this anymore" tears rolled down my face as I didn't even bother to wipe them

"Why is it always me!" I turned away from him and unlocked the car getting in, Nik jogging round and jumping in the passengers seat before I could drive away

"What did I ever do" I lifted a hand to wipe the ocean of tears "to make the world hate me this much"

I spun the steering wheel crazily making Nik lean to the side having to grip the handle tightly as my brain was shutting down.

"What sort of karma is this, I've had enough!" I couldn't even process half of what was going on when I grabbed a loaded handgun from under the seat and jumped out the car

"Phoenix" Nik began as cars started pulling up behind us. Kat kios and everyone following me

I passed through the gates and banged on the house door

"You have five seconds to open the fuck up before i shoot this down" I shouted very well meaning it

Everyone looked at me as though I was off the rails and I honestly did even care. The feeling of betrayal and sorrow for my four year self and a mother I can't even remember plagued me

No one opened the door so I shot it down with 3 loud shots walking inside with vengeful and angry eyes

"Phoenix" Leonardo and Alistair were standing in the living room talking as if they didn't just here 3 gun shots

"Lucien and Rowena where are they" I think he realised just how serious and angry I was as he pointed to the kitchen. I was there in seconds

I walked in the kitchen to see them both talking and laughing happily together and that made me angry. I lifted up my gun and shot them both one time in the leg causing them to collapse into the kitchen chairs groaning in pain

"Guards-" Rowena began to shout until she saw me "P-Phoenix"

I could feel the kitchen start to become more populated as I guessed everyone came to try and stop me from doing something impulsive

"Tell me exactly what happened or I swear to god I'll kill you both again" my hands were shaking but that wouldn't stop me from getting my aim spot on, especially since I was this vengeful. I wanted them dead for the way they spoke to my mother in that little cd

"Put the gun down-" Lucien began which pissed me off

I lifted the gun after he said that and shot his other leg causing a chorus of gasps to erupt around the kitchen "I swear to god you better start talking before the next bullet ends up in your heads" and I meant it

"When you were born" Lucien began "we ha-ad a deal, Hazel could come to see you once a month and we raised you as our own. I slept with her one night when we were both drunk and it was a mistake" he grabbed Rowenas hand as she looked at him with understanding eyes