"New to this" (Carson X Connor gay fanfic♥️)

Part 54: The Prom Pt.2

It was almost 7:00 PM and I pulled my car right in front of Paul's house. I waited for him for ten minutes. Then I saw him coming; I opened the car door to let him in.

"Hey, what's up? You look fine!" I told him.

"You, too!" He replied.

"So...do your parents let you sleep over?"

"Yeah, they don't care!"

"Okay, fine!"

I drove to the school. As we were about to enter the school building, Paul tried to hold my hand. I was a bit hesitant at the beginning, but then I let him do that.

"You are sweating. Don't you wanna hold my hand?" Paul told me.

"No, it's not that. It feels strange. I haven't even ever held Connor's hand publicly."

"Don't worry. It's gonna be ok." Paul assured me; then he printed a kiss on my lips.

As we entered the school hall, I was hit by the gloom of the lights, which created a magical atmosphere. The room was filled with a golden and sparkling hue. There wasn't a precise theme this year, but everything looked so amazing. Gabe had organized a spot with a scenario and two professional photographers. I decided to take a bunch of photos with Paul and then with my all time best friend Matt.
There was literally every single student of the school there.
Connor was there, too. I peeked at him immediately. He was with his group of friends from the dance club. He was wearing the same suit he lent me for that shitty party his parents had organized at his place.
I didn't want to think about him tonight. My date looked amazing. He had eyes only for me. I wanted this night to be the best of my life. I had always dreamt about prom night and it couldn't be ruined by Connor's presence.

I danced that night and had so much fun.
Gabe approached me and told me I would have performed in few minutes. I must admit I was scared. I hadn't sung in front of people in so long. My legs trembled a bit. I literally didn't know how to stop that anxiety.
Paul came closer and kissed me.
"Relax, do your best!" He told me.
I was shocked. I thought he was there with me just for the after-party, but he actually cared for me. I don't know why, but his kiss gave me a bunch of energy before stepping on the stage.

"Hamilton's are you having fun?" Gabe shouted in the microphone and a cry in sign of approval raised from the crowd.
"Ok, I take that as a yes. Now, go find your date and prepare to dance hand in hand. Please, make a big applause for Carson Lueders!"
Everyone applauded me.

"Hey guys, are you ready to fall in love tonight?"
And as I said that, I started playing my guitar:

"Sun in my eyes, navy blue skies
You are the reason I can survive
We turn off the phones to just be alone
We'll draw the curtains and never leave home

I had a nightmare (oh)
But now that I'm not scared"

As I was singing I tried not to look at the crowd, but for a moment I lifted my head and looked at all those beautiful couples in front of me. My date was waiting on the stage few feet apart. I looked at him and smiled at him in a lovely way. But then my glance went again on the crowd and there he was, staring at me: Connor. Our eyes met for a few seconds, but then I concentrated again on the guitar and finished the song:

"This is how you fall in love (uh)
Let go and I'll hold you up (uh)
So pull me tight and close your eyes (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side

Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side

This is how you fall in love
Let go and I'll hold you up
So pull me tight and close your eyes

Oh, my love, side to side"

"This is the last one from me tonight, hope you enjoy it":

"I am not the only traveler
Who has not repaid his debt
I've been searching for a trail to follow again
Take me back to the night we met

And then I can tell myself
What the hell I'm supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with you

I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we met

When the night was full of terrors
And your eyes were filled with tears
When you had not touched me yet
Oh, take me back to the night we met

I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Take me back to the night we met"

As soon as I had finished singing, I saw all this couples kissing and hugging. I wish it had been Connor and me at their place. Those lines I had just sung remembered me of him, of all the beautiful moments together. I wish I could have gone back to the time I met him. I don't know if I had chosen that song on purpose, but of course, every single word remembered me of him. His laugh, his eyes, I couldn't take them off of my mind. I missed him.

I thanked the crowd and stepped out of the stage. I went to the toilet and looked myself to the mirror. I slammed a punch on the sink and cried, bowing my head down. I missed him. Tears went down on my face. I opened the faucet and washed my face. I took some pieces of paper and dried myself. But suddenly I heard a door closing behind me. I was sure no one was at toilet. I turned around and saw Connor.

"Was it for me, be honest?" He asked me in an angry tone.

"What if it was? Can't I just miss you?" I replied.

"How are you doing?" He asked me, trying to put an hand on my shoulder. I pushed it away and moved me to the other side, facing him.

"Since when do you care? You cheated on me with another dude and now you ask me if I am doing good? I loved you, Connor!"

"You punched me on the nose and sent me to the hospital!"

"I was angry and I have apologized I don't know how many times... You had just told me that you didn't love me anymore. You had just admitted you had another man in your life. How do you think I should have felt?"

"I didn't love you anymore. Our story couldn't go any further!"

"Why? You have lied to me for almost a month. All those times you had told that you wanted nobody else but me, you were lying."

"No, I wasn't. I thought I loved you, but then..."

"Then you met your new boyfriend. Please, admit it. This was all an excuse to leave me. I can't believe there has never been anything between us. Please, I am dying inside. I need to know. I can't believe you were with me just for the sex. I can't believe it, Connor! I know we both felt something! Am I wrong?"

He didn't answer. He just stood there in silence.

"I want to forgive you for the punch. I said I wasn't ready. Now I am. If you want we can still be friends."

"Why don't you answer my question? Was I wrong?"

And as he was about to say something, Paul came in.

"Ah, Carson, you are here. I have been looking for you for five minutes. Oh, you two are..."

"No, Paul, we aren't doing anything. Actually, I don't even know why he followed me in here." I said, pointing at Connor, who was now facing the mirror, probably crying.

"Come on, Paul, let's go to my place" I stated and as I left the bathroom, my shoulder hit Connor's. I did it on purpose. He hadn't spoken. He was too coward to admit he had fallen in love with someone else. He was too coward to admit that he had truly loved me. I could accept the fact that he had another one, but I couldn't accept that he denied our love saying he was with me just for the sex. I couldn't accept that. That night, my relationship with Connor was over. I was wrong trusting him. That night I had finally realized the person he truly was.