"New to this" (Carson X Connor gay fanfic♥️)

Part 56: Graduation ceremony

"Paul...I..."

"Carson, I love you! Please forget everything about Connor. Why don't you try things with me? Why can't we be together? I have felt something. Something which goes beyond physical attraction. Please, let's see if this can work..."

"What if we started dating?" I proposed him.

He wrapped his hands tighter around me and kissed me.

"Are we like...a thing now?" He asked me.

"Yeah!"

The only rule I had given myself that night had been broken. The fact that I had fallen so soon for another guy convinced me that maybe Connor was right. Our relationship couldn't be more than just sex. That night, I felt a strange feeling. Connor was now a part of my past, while Paul, who had fallen asleep in my arms, was my present.

The next day, Paul woke me up at 8 AM. At 11 there was the graduation ceremony and I couldn't be late. He had made me some eggs for breakfast and he told me he would have kept me company all day. My parents were coming to LA and they were probably waiting for me at school.

Paul and I drove to school. I had never seen so much people there. I decided to smoke a grant before making my way to the school football pitch were the ceremony was held. Paul smoked a cigarette with me, but as we were in the school parking lot, I peeked at Connor in the distance. It seemed like he was coming to us. I pretended not to see him, but he was obviously looking for me.

As soon as he approached Paul and me, he kindly asked my new boyfriend to give us some time alone to talk. Paul throw his cigarette on the ground and printed a kiss on my lips, before making his way to the football pitch.

Connor stared at me. I didn't dare to utter a word. I didn't understand what he still wanted from me. He was the one who had broken up and now, it looked like he desperately needed to talk to me everywhere. First yesterday at the prom, and now he was willing to ruin my graduation ceremony, too.

"The ceremony starts in thirty minutes, what you want?" I blurted out.

"To clear things. And an answer"

"What kind of answer do you want? Ah... What are you still looking for? You ruined my last weeks. You are one of my greatest mistakes. You are hypocrite. Why did you pretend you loved me, eh?" I yelled at him.

"Ok, you want the truth? I fell in love with someone else, ok? There has been something between me and you, maybe love, but it soon faded away." Connor replied.

So it was true, he had found someone else and he had broken up with me for this new guy.

"Ok, why didn't you tell me that yesterday?"

"I was too afraid!"

"Ok..." I mumbled. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know why he was telling me this.

"You still gotta answer my question!"

"What was it?"

"Can you forgive me and still be friends?"
He was asking me my forgiveness.

"Do you even care? I will go to the USC next year and we will never see each other anymore. But why do you keep on coming to me?" I told him.

"I wanted to apologise. You hurt my nose, but I hurt your heart." Connor explained. Deep in his heart he still cared about me. He knew how fragile I could be and he knew that this breakup could have destroyed my mental health.

"Ok, fine. I forgive you. But I don't wanna see you anymore!" I replied. I don't know why I told him that, but I guess I wanted to feel proud. I didn't need him anymore and he had to understand that.

"Fine. I think we could still be friends, but I suppose that is not what you want. You know, the first time I met you, you said you would have helped me whenever I needed. But now, now you are leaving me alone. Maybe we can't be boyfriends, but you remain one of the greatest person I have ever met. At least, I thought you were an amazing person. Bye, Carson..."

"Bye, Connor!"

So our story ended. Was I sad? I don't know. I smoked another cigarette, as I slowly sat on the ground, with my back against the door of the car. It hurt so bad. Now our story was really over. Few tears ran down my cheeks and fell on my black gown. I would have missed him, but I couldn't feel bad for him. He had cheated on me, after all. Maybe he still needed me as a friend, but I didn't want to see him anymore.
I stood up and collected my black cap. I wiped my tears. My life would have been only for Paul from now on.

[Carson's epilogue]
That day I graduated and said forever goodbye to my high school life I introduced Paul to my family and they were so happy to meet him. But my story with Paul wouldn't have lasted more than the one with Connor.

Paul and I spent some beautiful days together at my place in Spokane, but unfortunately, ballet took him away from me. Paul got accepted at the Paris Opera and his parents decided to move their business back in France. A long distance relationship could have never worked and we agreed on breaking up after only two weeks. Neither of us wanted to be apart from each other, but we knew that that was the best thing to do. I still hear him sometimes nowadays. He is doing fine in Paris and he has been hanging out with some new guys recently. Sometimes I still wish he was here with me, in my arms, under my covers, but this desire could never be fulfilled.

In September I moved to my college dorm, and there, well, there began a new part of my life.