As I Am (Part 2 of There You'll Be)

Sick

(Evelyn)

We partied the night away. We cut the cake, had champagne, made toasts and danced the night away. Grayson took my hand and Emery took her Dad. It was seriously so sweet to have all of our babies there.
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After the wedding, Zak & I dove head first back into work and reality. My birthday was coming up in June, the 13th, I would be turning 24.

Life was good, like really good.

Zak had turned 44 just before our wedding, Grayson was 6, Emery was 5 & Oliver and Sage are 1.

Grayson was going to start kindergarten next fall, Emery was going to be in preschool. Our twins were growing so big and Gracie loved all of her siblings.
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Living in Vegas the last 6 years I had acquired a group of awesome girl friends. They were all moms and wives as well. There was Taylor, Melissa, Angela, Monique, Rebecca, Kylie, Daphne & Wren.

For my birthday, we decided to get VIP passes to the Backstreet Boys residency at Planet Hollywood. My parents had the kids for the night and Zak was gone on another investigation.

I got drunk at the concert and passed out in bed as soon as I got home. I wouldn't be getting the kids til later the next day.
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My phone was lit up with messages the next morning when I finally woke up.

{Text Thread}
Daphne: I'm so sorry Ev. Let me know if you need anything.

Monique: You don't deserve this babe, I'm sorry.

Taylor: Seriously so disgusting.

Evelyn: What did I miss? Did something happen last night? Did I do something stupid?

Rebecca: Wait. You didn't see?

Evelyn: See what?

<Angela sent an article>

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As soon as I saw the picture I ran to the bathroom and vomited. Not because I was hung over but because I was broken.

How could he do this again? Why was this happening?

I hung my head in the toilet for 20 minutes throwing anything and everything in me.

I screamed and yelled and gasped and cried. I flushed the toilet and pulled my now weak self off the ground.

I looked in the mirror. My mascara was blown all over my face. My hair was a mess. I managed to change into sweats when I got home last night but didn't take my makeup off.

I was sweaty but cold, aching but angry. I heard the doorbell and made my way downstairs.

There was no one at the door but instead, there were 6 dozen roses. 6 for the years we were together.

A card was included that read:
"You're mad. I'm sorry. I can explain. Wait til I get home. -Z Baby"

I don't know what made me more mad, the cheating or the bullshit insincerity of the card.

I spent the rest of the morning smashing picture frames, trashing wedding photos and dumped all the sappy shit he ever got me in a big ole box along with my wedding rings, engagement rings and Polaroids of us. I shred my lingerie and

I packed my bags, packed bags for the kids, showered and planned to head to my parents after some damage. I felt bad that Gray & Em had dealt with this before but never the twins.

I made the phone calls to my parents and Nancy. Told them Zak & I were done. I would looking for a good divorce attorney tonight.

I spent a long while tossing all the roses he sent into the large fireplace to burn,

I didn't clean the glass up from the photos I smashed.

I took my blood red lipstick and wrote on the mirror:
"FUCK. YOU. BAGANS."

I packed my car, did one last sweep and hit the road.

I tore up all my shit and uniforms from the museum and stopped to drop it on the bosses desk for his return.

I walked out to the car with sunglasses and my head down. Paparazzi was there.

"Evelyn, will you guys divorce?"

"Evelyn, what about the kids?"

"Evelyn, is it true you're pregnant again?"

"Evelyn, have you talked to zak?"

A million questions. No answers.

I sped out the parking lot as soon as I got in my car.

I was headed to my babies and right now, that was the only thing keeping me alive.