As I Am (Part 2 of There You'll Be)

Bringing home Bagans

(Evelyn's POV)

For some reason, bringing Zak home was more terrifying for me than bringing our babies home from the hospital when they were born.

Zak was fragile, silent and scared. He wasn't my cool, confident, level headed husband.

I remember him telling me about lockdown hangovers being a real thing but this one was the worst by far.

It was almost like a shell of my husband was the passenger sitting next to me on the flight.

I reach over for Zak's hand. He's sleeping, at last.

I place my hand on his arm as I check the flight screen.

"Almost there. Almost there. Then I'll see my babies and everything will go back to normal." I said to myself.

Zak slept but it wasn't peaceful. He growned and moaned like he didn't feel good and I wish I knew what he was thinking.
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We landed and I woke him up.

"Z. Z Baby. Wake up. We are home." He woke up looking worse than before.

He mumbled and stood up to move to the aisle. I took his hand and led the way off the plane.

We got our baggage and met Nancy at the pickup terminal.

"DADDY!!" Grayson said as he clapped his hands when Zak got in next to him.

"Hi...bud." He said groggily.

"Hey Gray, Daddy's just tired. But guess what? You're gonna sleep at Grandmas tonight. Doesn't that sound fun? You and Emery!"

He nodded.
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Nancy dropped Zak and I at home and left with the kids.

For Zak's first night, I figured we would just relax with Gracie and let him rest.

We dropped our bags by the door and headed to the bedroom.

I became almost like Zak's caretaker. Stripping him of his clothes as well as my own. Leading him to the shower and turning on the water. I ran the warm water down his body and mine and wet down his hair.

Zak, whose head had been hung since he got home, now looked up at me with the saddest blue eyes.

In those sad baby blues, I learned everything I needed to know. Zak & I were funny like that. We could read each other by just a look in each other's eyes.

"Shhhh...We will talk when you're ready." I said.

Just like when I bathed my babies, I lathered up his favorite shampoo and ran it through his hair. I gave him a head massage with my fingernails before rinsing him.

I conditioned his hair and rubbed his body top to bottom in his favorite smelling body wash.

I soon did all the same for myself. Upon being rinsed, I wrapped a towel around myself and Zak. I dried off, put on a robe and tended to my hollowed out husband.

I fetched his favorite sweatpants, a museum T-shirt and his glasses. I unmade the bed and crawled right in.

"Gracie...come here girl." He said as he gently pat the spot next to him.

Gracie knew something was wrong and relaxed with her head on Zak's leg.

I smiled to myself and walked back into the bathroom to get into my pjs and get ready for bed.

A few minutes later, I walked in to our bedroom to see Gracie and Zak out cold. He was sleeping, again, at last.

I took of his glasses, pressed my lips to his temple and crawled into bed before turning out the light.