As I Am (Part 2 of There You'll Be)

Things that go bump in the night

(Evelyn)
I know what you're thinking. Ev, just close the baby factory. And maybe you're right but I absolutely loved being pregnant and becoming a Mama.

I am only 24 and Zak & I had talked about adding two more before I was 30. I guess it never occurred to me that I was going to sleep with any other man besides Zak so I was definitely surprised to find out Jay & I were expecting.

I came from a family where I was the only child. I envied people with big families because I wanted that. Had Liam and Bexley been alive still, there's no way I would've gotten pregnant again. 6 kids was the cut off for me always and because I was now with Jay, I felt like he needed two kids of his own blood to add to my previous 4.

I am still young and healthy and I wanted my kids close together. Jay and I talked about having kids when we started dating but didn't expect to get pregnant the first time.

Was Zak going to be pissed? He shouldn't be. Wait, why was I letting him in my head. It was my life. He let me go.

I shook those things off and got started looking for a job I could get now that I wasn't tied to GA or the museum.

I decided that maybe I could keep going in my side hustle of blogger and influencer. I modeled briefly in between the births of the kids and thought maybe I could get back there someday.

What if I want to write a book? Write about being a "paranormal princess" and what it's like to really be married to the "paranormal prince" himself.

I loved Zak, I did. There just was so much in hindsight that was red flags and honestly I wondered why we didn't divorce sooner.

I'd call it:
"Things that go Bump in The Night: all about the ghouls and girls my ex-husband 'investigated' behind my back."