The memories we create: Lost and gone. (Aether/Xiao)

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Part 1 of 2

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1095 days.
26280 hours.
No, 26281 hours and 32 minutes.
Exactly 26281 hours and 32 minutes.

"He's still counting the hours, isn't he?", Ganyu asked, her eyes lingered on Xiao as she spoke to Zhongli. The archon nodded.
"Losing something that made the world around you, and yourself, change, is hard to bear.", he replied calm, a fatherly, slightly sad smile on his face.
"I almost don't dare to ask but do you think he'll come back?", Ganyu asked. It wasn't her pain and yet she felt so much compassion for Xiao that it hurt herself. And Zhongli was silent. Maybe he didn't know the answer. Maybe he knew. But whatever it was, he decided not to talk about it.
"He promised.", Xiao answered instead. Although he seemed absent, he had heard the conversation. And he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand them talking about him. Talking about Aether. The promise, those few words, were all he had. All that was left since Aether returned to his own world. To his home. With his sister. Taking her with him and leaving him behind.
26281 hours and 39 minutes ago.

Xiao got up. He couldn't stand sitting at a table with the adepti and pretending everything was fine. He couldn't stand the way Ganyu looked at him. And although he still valued him the most of all, he couldn't stand being around Zhongli either. As he left he noticed that the archon was following him, but didn't stop. Not this time. And Zhongli just walked next to him in silence for a while until they were far enough away from the other adepti. But it wasn't the archon who broke the silence.

"You didn't answer her. Would you answer if I asked the same question?", Xiao asked, looking at him just enough to see his expression.
"Do you assume that I know the answer?", the dark-haired asked expressionless, but it was precisely this lack of expression that was painful for Xiao. He nodded, slowly, tormented, and waited. Waited for a sign on Zhongli's face. Something that would tell him the truth. But there was no sign. Nothing that gave him a clue.
"Xiao, once I granted you freedom. And yet, since that day, you have never been free. The past, the present and now the uncertain future, everything is a prison for you. A small cage whose guard is none other than yourself. Whether I know an answer or not wouldn't change that.", the archon replied calm feeling the pain and hate that radiated from Xiao. Even if he was sorry, he could endure it in silence. Yes, he knew the truth, by chance, by fate, but he wasn't going to tell Xiao yet. Not today.

Xiao hadn't said another word. Hadn't looked at him again. He had just returned to his home. The place that gave him peace. But also the place that had become so excruciatingly quiet since Aether left. Everything there reminded him of the blonde traveler. The window through which they had watched the stars and Xiao had listened to Aether's stories for hours. The flowers that had withered years ago and yet still stood where Aether had left them. The bed in which Aether had held Xiao in his arms on many nights and also on the one on which the yaksha finally understood what he felt for Aether. Everything. Everything reminded him of Aether. But nothing was there. Nothing of Aether was really there except the faint memories.
Xiao sighed when he slumped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.
He was used to pain, suffering, torment, but never before could he endure it so badly as he did since the moment Aether had left him. On particularly bad, particularly dark days, he sometimes even wished he had never met him.

"Liar...", he whispered into nothingness and to himself and was about to just sink into his grief again when an almost silent noise startled him. With the tip of his polearm, he reflexively pinned the small yellowish creature against the wall that had previously floated into his room as if it belonged there. A Seelie. A yellow seelie.
"What do you want?", he asked, knowing full well that these creatures couldn't talk and withdrew his weapon. The Seelie bumped against Xiao's forehead as if it was angry and shook its little body afterwards. Only then did Xiao notice that there was something in the small body that looked suspiciously like Aether's earring.
He grabbed the Seelie and held it tight to look at it closely. Yes, it was definitely Aether's earring. Pain, anger, sadness and a tiny bit of joy rushed through him when he realized it. Was that Aethers Seelie? Aether had all sorts of pets. Seelies, Endora, Paimon. It was possible that this Seelie once belonged to him. It must have belonged to him. How else could it have his earring if Xiao didn't even have something from him?

"Aether.....you were with him, right?", he asked and although he didn't expect an answer, the little creature shook itself as if it were nodding. And Xiao was convinced that he had finally lost his mind.
"You understood what I said?", he asked and it 'nodded' again.
He didn't want to show it or even feel it, but he couldn't suppress how excited he suddenly was. Xiao sank back onto the bed and just stared at the Seelie for several minutes in silence. Overwhelmed. And somehow, and if just minimally, happy.
"Did you come here all alone?"
It nodded.
"Brave. And way too careless. Just like him."
Xiao sighed. As happy as it made him to finally have something that could remind him of Aether, as much did it hurt.

The next morning it was still there. Also the next week. And the next month. It didn't matter how many times Xiao ignored it. No matter how many times he had told it that it should just leave when the anger or the sadness overwhelmed him. It stayed with him. And even if he didn't want to admit it, he had gotten used to it. And started to like it. At some point he had started to talk to the Seelie. To tell him stories of Aether. And of himself. And even if he didn't understand it, it at least made him feel a little better. At least for a while.
One evening he was standing on the balcony of the Inn, the Seelie beside him, staring into the distance. Actually he had sworn to himself not to ask the Seelie any questions about Aether but he couldn't stand it anymore. He had to know if it knew anything.

"Do you still remember him? Aether?", he asked quietly but the Seelie just shook its body as if to say no. It seemed to want to calm him down, maybe even to comfort him, but the implied 'no' had already caused too much harm.
"...I see."
For a moment he was just silent again. He hated himself for having hope. That he believed this little creature could bring Aether back to him. And even though he didn't want to, he got angry. Incredibly angry.
"I was stupid to think you could change anything.", he stated before he just disappeared into nowhere, into the darkness. The yellow being tried to follow him but Xiao was gone and so it just sank back on the bed and waited. Minutes, hours, days. Days in which Xiao did not return.

"Was giving this opportunity enlightening enough to come to a decision?", a dark voice asked and could it sigh, the Seelie would have sighed heavily. It slumped on the archon's shoulder and barely moved. It was almost palpable how desperate it was.
"I can't give you any more time. Not under these conditions. Not for the high price I've already paid to give you this opportunity. You already knew about his condition before you came here and now you could see for yourself. Perhaps you have hoped that he will forget or that you can give him comfort this way, but he cannot deal with this loss. Decide. If you stay, it will be forever. If you go, then also forever. With the morning sun it will have to be decided.", Xiao heard the Archon talk. He spoke to the Seelie, Xiao knew that although he couldn't see them, lurking behind the door, but he didn't understand anything of what the dark-haired was saying. When he bursted into the room, Zhongli had already disappeared and the Seelie floated to him as soon as he entered the room and settled on his head. It looked happy and yet somehow depressed. The yaksha took it in his hand and placed it on his chest after lying down. Although he did not know what the archon was talking about, although he did not understand it, he had the uneasy feeling that the next morning could bring a change that he could hardly bear. He held the Seelie tight until he fell asleep, forced by the exhaustion caused by the restless wandering through the country.

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