Genshin Impact BL DISCONTINUED

The memories we create: New beginning (Aether/Xiao)

Part 2 of 2

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The morning sun only lit up the small room through a gap between the curtains and yet it was enough to end the cozy trance of the night. Without opening his eyes Xiao knew that the Seelie was no longer with him and yet he ran his fingers over his chest to be sure. He was alone. He had already suspected it, no, feared it, and yet he could feel a pain in his chest where his heart was. The decision had been made against him. The sound that left the yaksha's lips was so soft and yet full of pain and contempt. Contempt for himself for having hope, for believing in something he didn't even understand, and contempt for ever allowing himself to fall in love. No, to love. Truly. Deeply. 'Love, what a worthless word', he thought bitter and got up to start his day like every other day. After all, it had never been and never would be more like any other day, right?

"..Xiao..", a voice he knew so well whispered sleepily. In all the bitterness about the missing of the Seelie, the adeptus had not noticed that he was not alone. He hadn't heard the quiet breathing next to him or smelled the scent of the other. He was so convinced that the decision had been made against him that he did not believe in what his senses were telling him. He got startled now that he had heard the voice. In a flash he turned around and pressed the tip of his polearm against Aether's neck. It was a reflex, a habit, trained to destroy what threatened him and yet the spear instantly fell to the floor when he realized that there was really Aether sitting on his bed. A little more grown up, a little taller, but a frightened, a little lost Aether.

He could barely take a breath before his heart began to race and his body to tremble. Aether, it echoed through his head, so loud that it took his breath away. Aether, Aether, Aether, again and again, always a little bit louder, almost threateningly. He couldn't say anything, couldn't move, couldn't think. Xiao could only stand there and stare at the blonde, overwhelmed and torn between the warring feelings inside him. He gasped when the oxygen levels in his blood began to drop, triggered by holding his breath for too long.
"...Aether...", he whispered cautiosly, fearing that it wasn't true, that what he was seeing wasn't reality.
"Xiao...I...I am back...", the blonde replied insecure and almost ashamed, filled with guilt and regret and yet he smiled, happy to finally see Xiao again. Xiao backed away, getting one step closer to the wall until his back felt the cold of it and his hands clawed the wood until his fingers began to bleed. It was too much for him. Far too much to understand, to process. Aether, he had waited so long for him, longed for him and hated himself a little more every day and now he was sitting there. Now he sat there as if he had never been anywhere else. Xiao winced as Aether slowly moved out of bed, trying to sit up and get to him. But being a Seelie had weakened his body, impaired the connection between body and soul. So he just sank on the floor in front of the bed as he tried to approach Xiao. It wasn't an impact, it didn't hurt either, and yet Xiao reflexively ran to catch him. Although he could hardly breathe himself, everything he felt about Aether outweighed his own overwhelming, warring emotions. His bloody hands held the other so tightly as if they wanted to prevent him from ever leaving again. Without thinking, the yaksha hugged the other even tighter and buried his face in the nape of Aethers neck, another gasp leaving his lips as he did so.

Aether chuckled very quietly, surprised and relieved, and put his arms around Xiao's trembling body to hold him tight. It was so long ago that he had felt him, that they had been so close. Maybe after four years it should have been strange but it wasn't. It was familiar. Aether was here. He was at home. He was finally back where the one he felt at home with was.
"..Xiao.. I'm home again... and I'm not leaving again ... Xiao, I'm so incredibly sorry ...", Aether whispered while hugging Xiao so tightly, fearing that he would not forgive him, that this moment, driven by worry, would soon end and with it everything that he had hoped for. Aether's heart ached as he thought about it. He knew it was and would be his fault. That it was he who would have ruined everything and that if Xiao didn't want to forgive him, he never would. But Xiao did not leave. He didn't talk to him either, but he still clasped his hands in the fabric of Aether's shirt and pressed his face to his neck so tight that he could hardly breathe.
"...I am so sorry...", Aether whispered again but this time Xiao backed away from him a little, held him a little less tightly, and looked at him, cold, expressionless.
"I don't want to hear it.", he replied harsh and let go of Aether completely after he had helped him back on the bed.
"Apologies are nothing but empty words.", he added and turned even if his whole body told him to stay, but he needed time. Time to process, time to heal. And at that moment he wasn't ready to listen, he wasn't ready to forgive. And he would never be willing to pretend those four years didn't mean anything. Without another word, he disappeared in an instant, leaving Aether behind. It hurt incredibly, so painful that it took his breath away, but Aether knew that it was all his fault.

Just as he had waited for Xiao as Seelie, he waited now too. There was nothing else he could do, his body obeyed him very slowly and before he would visit anyone else he had to sort things out with Xiao. He had to tell him the truth. He had to tell him why he hadn't come back but also that he would never leave now. Aether had lost the sense of time when he woke up hours, days maybe weeks later one night to the creaking of the wooden floor in the room. It was too dark to see and yet he knew, when he saw the amber eyes that were looking at him, that he had nothing to fear.
"..Xiao..", he whispered, afraid that Xiao would leave again.
"Please...let me explain...Just once ... please just listen to me for a moment ... I just want you to know the truth...", he almost sounded begging as he sat up.
"I don't want to hear it.", Xiao again sounded so harsh, so dismissive but he didn't go away, he didn't disappear, no, he slowly came closer to him.
"Xiao...please..."
"I don't care what you have to say. Words are worthless. You had made your decision, why doesn't matter. It never matters. Words cannot change what has already happened. You cannot change that. Humans.. tsk ... you are always convinced that meaningless drivel can fix the damage...or wash away your own guilt just to make yourself feel better.", Xiaos voice had an undertone of contempt but sounded less harsh. Without another word he sat down on Aethers lap so that his legs straddled his hips and wrapped his arms around Aethers neck. He pressed his whole body against the other's and buried his face in the nape of his neck again.
"There is nothing to explain and nothing to forgive. What has happened cannot be undone. If you want the future to be different, bear the guilt of the past alone and keep it as a reminder.", Xiao whispered against Aether's skin, the blonde could feel the warm breath and hesitantly returned the other's embrace. Aether just nodded, tormented, but still he didn't feel bad. Yes, he wanted to explain everything to Xiao, but if Xiao was willing to forgive him without all of that, then he would endure the feeling of guilt willingly.

"I will not leave anymore...never again. I thought I was at home where Lumine is, but I'm at home where you are...and only where you are .."
"Prove it instead of just saying it."
"I will."
"What about her, your sister?"
"She lives, she loves, she is free. I won't be able to see her often, but that's...ok. My home is here, my family is here and maybe one day she will be able to be part of it again. But time will tell. It is her life. And it's time to live mine."
Xiao only nodded and if it had been possible at all, he had snuggled up to Aether even more. Aether could barely breathe with all of Xiao's weight on him, but that didn't matter.
The blonde buried one of his hands in Xiao's hair while the other was around his waist and hugged him tightly.

"...I've missed you all the time ..", Aether stated quietly but only earned a low growl close to his ear which made him chuckle. He tilted his head and closed his eyes to enjoy each kiss the yaksha placed on his neck.
"..we don't have to..", Aether whispered while his fingers traced over Xiao's back, feeling every scar on it like he wanted to memorize every inch of his skin again.
Unexpectedly, Xiao slipped back a little and looked at him blankly.
"You do not want to? Fine.", he answered and was about to move away from Aether completely, when the blonde suddenly grabbed his wrists, using his newly acquired size to turn and pin him on the mattress far too easily. Aether grinned now towering over him, bending down to whisper into Xiao's ear in a seductive voice that he had never heard from himself before.
"Didn't say I don't want to. Just thought that you might need some time but if you already react that way again ... How much do you think can be made up in one night?"

-

"I..missed you..too..", Xiao whispered between his still unsteady breaths as he sank down on Aethers chest, rested his head on it and closed his eyes listening to his strong but calm heartbeat.

He didn't know when sleep would envelop him, but he knew that he no longer feared tomorrow.