Not a perfect love story ~ Cate x Reader

Plans To Get Better

"Y/N what is this...." she trails off as her eyes well up. I don't know what to say, my breath is starting to get caught in my chest and my heart rate quickens, I start to feel dizzy as my oxygen intake is lessening.

"I-I-I" I stutter and now I cry openly, cate pulls me Into her arms, I hold onto her and sit on her lap as she rubs my back trying to calm me. "I-I'm sorry cate" I sob.

"No, you aren't supposed to be sorry" I can hear the break in her voice and I know she's crying too, my chin is on her shoulder and my arms are hooked under hers. We stay holding each other for a moment longer, I have yet to calm completely but enough to talk. I climb off cate and sit in front of her in the sand. She carefully takes my arm in her hands and observes the deep cut. "Was this in intention of what I think" she sniffles, I keep my head down, looking at my lap, ashamed. Tears fall onto my lap and my thigh. Cate holds my arm in one hand and cups my cheek with the other, I lift my head to look at her. She has puffy eyes and tears dripping off her chin and jaw bone. I break once again as I see her, I let out crackly cries as I think about how I almost left cate.

"I'm sorry cate" I sob. She wipes my tears with her thumb.

"You don't have to be sorry" her voice is weak and I can see she's heart broken "were you going to leave" she asks, her voice breaks as she speakS. I nod my head and wipes my tears with the hand she isn't holding. "Why" she whispers.

"I told you.....I can't live without you" I whisper weakly, she sighs sadly and tries to blink away her tears.

"Im so sorry, I can't forgive myself" she whispers. I sob some more, and cate tries to calm me down but the tears keep coming.

"I-I almost left you Cate" I wail, she pulls me Into a tight hug "I was just so broken". She holds me protectively and and runs her fingers through my hair. But it doesn't stop it won't stop, the cries keep coming like a rain storm, thinking about the fact I almost left her. I can tell she's staring to get worried as by breathing is minimal and My heart is racing. She start to sing loud enough to hear over my cries.

Sunshine, you are my sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

So please don't take my sunshine away.

She sings it three times before I finally calm down enough to breath, every couple breaths I uncontrollably take a couple sharpe inhales and my heart flutters. I sit in Cates arms with my cheek against her chest and my legs around her waist. "It's going to be okay I promise, you are doing your best and that's all that matters" she says. I nod wiping my tears and cling onto her like a small child.

"Are you upset" I sniffle.

"No honey I'm not upset...I'm angry at myself" she tells me.

"W-why" I ask in a weak voice.

"For leaving....for everything" she pauses "but it's going to get better, we are going to work on our relationship and our problems" she rubs my back and rocks back and forth, a thing she noticed I do when I'm anxious for need to be comforted.

"Can we go home" I ask.

"Of course my sunshine" she says, I hold her tight before letting go of her and crawling off her lap. I stand up and wipe my face with the back of my hand. She struggles to get up and lets out a groan as she attempts to get up. I grab her hand and pull her up weakly, she chuckles and wipes the sand off her clothes. I've pulled my sleeve down and I'm hiding my arm partly behind me. She rubs my shoulder of the cut arm. "Can I see sweetheart" she asks cautiously. I hesitate for a moment but hold me covered arm in front of me, she takes my arm gently and slowly pulls my sleeve up again. She sighs at the sight and the feeling of shame comes rolling back, the cut has scabbed over and the skin around is red and slightly lifted. She trails her finger over the cut as light as a feather. "Does it hurt?".