Fenrir in the 501st

The long night

After my nap I make my way to the dinning room where everyone is gathered. Yoshika cooks a meal for everyone. Fuso style food is amazing, but I still prefer multi-cultural dishes. I finish up earlier then the other and go for a walk to the hanger taking the long way.

I reach the hanger. The lights are off its cold in here. I turn the loghts on and do some maintenance on the units that will go out tonight,  making sure they are in top shape. I hear a cough behind me as im working on the last unit. I turn my head to see who it is. It's Eila see standing there alone.

Eila - ' Can we talk? '

Ashley - ' Im working on the last unit brfore you girls head out, but I can work and talk. '

Am I really using this as an excuse so I dont have to talk to her face to face? When did I become such a coward to my own feelings. 

Eila - ' About that night... '

Ashley - ' Yeah, you and sanya got closer. So you took the leap? '

Eila - ' We... I... I'm sorry. '

I stop my hands but still look at the unit.

Ashley - ' A sorry doesn't fix everything. Sometimes, time is the only thing that will help. Look, I dont blame you. It was my fault, I should have seen that you had someone else. '

I continue working on the unit. I can feel my throat start to clamp up.

Eila - ' Its just... I love Sanya, But I dont think she understands what kind of love she feels. '

I take a deep breath in to control myself.

Ashley - ' You shouldn't rush then, help her figure out her emotions. Be it as family or lover. This unit, the 501st we are all family.  Eila, just because you can predict short term future doesn't mean that that future will happen. Things change all the time, there are things you can't change and thing thay change so much they become diffrent. I believe,  she will understand her emotions soon. '

I quickly finish up the maintenance and put awau the tools. As I turn to leave the hanger. I am suddenly hugged from behind.

Eila - ' I miss us hanging out and talking. '

Ashley - ' I have other things to do, so do you. You should get ready to head out. I tuned your units, they should work like they are made specifically for you. '

I break free from the hug and run off. I stop after a few minutes in one of the halls. Why, why does it still hurt. After all this time! Why! Don't just come up and say sorry. How am I supposed to forget about you now. I was so close.

My next stop becomes the dinning room. I find the kitchen and raid it for some kind of drink. Finding nothing like hard liquor besides wine. This will have to do. I was always told drinking is never the solution, but I just want it to stop hurting. I start looking around for a cork puller. After a few minutes I finally find one, I screw it into the cork and pop it open. I look at the contents of the bottle. I take a deep breath and as Im about to take a swig. A loud clap and pain that shoots across my face.

Minna - ' What do you think you doing? '

I slowly turn towards an very angry Minna who just slaped my across my face and is now yelling at me. My mind is completely in shambles, I cant form any thoughts on how to respond or react. The only thing that just comes naturally is tears more then the tear that already stained my face.

Ashley - ' I-I don't know...why does it hurt? Why can't I forget? Why did I have too....? '

I feel the strength in my legs give out. I try to bring my arm with my sleeve to wipe my tears but somthing is wrapped around me stopping me from moving.

Minna - ' I know how you feel Ashley. I know. '

She rubs my back slowly and I breakdown. All the stress that I've been holding on to all the the thoughts I wanted to deny, I let it all out. That night I cried myself to sleep, I never felt so free.

I morning sun shines through an uncovered window. It wakes me up. I slowly open my eyes and look around the room, Its not mine. I get out of bed and find my clothes neatly piled on the chair in the corner of the room.  Getting dressed I look at the mirror in the room, my hair is messy, my eyes are red and my throat is really sore. When I go to leave the room, the door opens and Minna comes in with a bowl of water and a cup of coffee.

Minna - ' You're awake, I have a coffee for you but first lets wash your face and fix your hair. Come sit over here. '

She points to the chaor that I found my clothes on. Then she puts the bowl and coffee cup on the table. She move move to her noght stand and grab a brush from the drawer. She comes back and brushes my hair. I look at the mirror and the sun reflecting off the both of us, it makes me feel so warm. I dont think I want this to end. I notice a cloth in the bowl of water and I use it to wash my face as my hair is brushed into place.

Ashley - ' Hey, Minna. '

She hums letting me know I have her attention.

Ashley - ' Im sorry about last night. I lost myself. I almost gave up. '

I feel the brush stop for a second before continuing.

Ashley - ' If you weren't there I don't know how things would have turned out. I have to get this settled between me and Eila.  So, ummm... Could you be there by my side? '

I feel Minna rest her chin on my head and her grab my hand.

Minna - ' Of course. '

Hearing that I look out the window, everything seems so much brighter and vibrant.