Crashing Down (Dark N.H A.U)

Chapter Forty

"I don't get it," Lola whispers.

"You don't get what?" I ask.

Still whispering Lola says, "how you and Niall can live in the same house, but not see each other."

I roll my eyes at her whispers. We are at school waiting for our class with Professor Dunham to start. Liam and Zayn are sitting next to us. No matter how much Lola whispers they will still be able to hear us.

"We are avoiding each other." I state the obvious.

"I know that." Now Lola rolls her eyes. "I'm saying how do you do it so well?"

"I guess we just know each other's schedules. Niall wakes up and eats. I wake up and go for a run. I then go to school and then come home and study. Niall works until I go to sleep and then he does whatever he needs to do. It's quite easy."

"Finals are next week. What are you going to do after that? You can't be serious about going back to Boston." Lola watches me carefully as she speaks.

"I can't stay here." I don't even know how to begin to explain why I can't.

My therapist says my newfound anxiety is from PTSD. I can barely go on my runs in the morning. I'm convinced someone is going to pop up out of nowhere and take me. I have these vivid dreams where I'm murdered, but when my brain wants to play some real tricks I dream that I will be taken and tortured like Zayn's wife. The only difference is that no one comes after me. No one saves me. I need to be around friends and family that won't leave me to fend for myself.

I have a lot of dreams about Alex. I am also convinced that I see Alex around campus. I know that's crazy, because I watched him die. I still can't get him out of my head. When I start to think about Alex the memories of the day Niall gave me to him play through my mind. Every single detail. They are so vivid that I feel the gun in my hand. The texture of the grip and the sound of the gun going off haunt me. The feel of the gun in my waistband weighs me down.

"Francesca?" Lola snaps her fingers in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine." I look down at my hands and then rubs my hands on my jeans. "I have to get away from here. From all of this. I can't stay."

I see Lola look at Liam and Zayn in my peripheral vision. This isn't the first time they shared this look. I have been like this since I found out that someone in their inner circle gave away the location of the house and that's why they were ambushed. Niall is working hard to find out who it was. I wasn't supposed to know, but I heard Louis and Liam talking about it.

I close my eyes and pretend I'm back in that cave. There was no danger in the cave. No one outside of the guys knew about the cave. Niall promises that no one knows about the cabin, but that's not true. There were construction workers all over for a few weeks. Our location could easily be given up.

Lola stands up indicating that class is about to start. I follow her in leaving Liam and Zayn behind. We take our seats and wait for everyone else to arrive. Everyone was surprised when Lola and I started sitting together again and that Liam and Zayn were back. They all have their suspicions since Liam and Louis where forcing us out of windows. The news had a hay day with it. Lots of mafia talk is being thrown around. Matty won't even look at me. I need to apologize to him.

"Welcome everyone. I am glad to see you all." Professor Dunham greets us as she walks in. She looks over at me and slightly nods her head at me. She does this everyday I see her. It's her way of checking on me. "Last semester we talked about Stockholm syndrome. I asked the question if it could lead to true love. After everything we have learned this semester I want to hear your answers now."