Sohams personal Diary

Sohams everyday diary! May06

07 May 2021  Friday

721AM-806AM(writing time😳😳😳😳)

Dear future Soham,

HOLY SHIT, HOLY FUCK. I AM SO SO SO FUCKING FUCKING SORRY- OH MY FUCKING GOD HOW COULD I?????? In my defense, I slept at  7 in the evening so I forgot. BUT I BROKE THE CHAIN. THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN BREAKING THE CHAIN OF A DAILY EVENT. I AM SO SORRY FUTURE SOHAM. I AM SO SORRY EVERYONE. In case you're confused, this is the diary entry for yesterday (May 6), but I totally forgot to write when I slept at 7 in the evening and got up at 7. Prepped myself for today. Did the morning essentials and gave myself a pep talk and while filling up my water bottle. I realized. AHAHDUSIAUDHK. SORRRYY. I have to go do exercise now as it's almost 7 30. I'll write the rest of yesterday's diary when I'm back. Once again, I'm so so sorry. I left at 7 30 ish and I'm back at 7 40 ish. What happened- ill tell u when I write today's diary entry. So, yesterday, got up feeling better from the day before yesterday and tbh I wanted to feel sad again. Apart from me just wanted to feel sad all over again. I got up 15 mins late for exercise, which means they had already started and I joined 15 mins later. Once that was over I read a little bit of bio as bio was the first period. We did some W/S in bio, Hindi ma'am was talking bout some holiday homework and some docs, English idk what we did and finally physics were some numericals. After that, I got to reading. I should've practiced the guitar but I didn't which further impacted my day. The book I'm reading is about how to communicate better and I was reading the anger chapter and I could understand what the writer was saying as on Wednesday when I was super sad; I was also super angry. That very day, later in that day...I asked all three of em to tell me how much of a damn do they give about me from a thousand. I got my answers eventually. 850 from Sonu...don't really think that's her uttermost honest damn. Saans gave me 900 but when I said "I forgot to mention be utterly true" she changed it to 200...that's better and more believable. Harshit said "twice" I didn't force him to answer me more. The Wednesday was a turning point. I archived my profile, removed my pfp, removed my bio, and cleared of those 3. I don't want to talk to them. I was feeling I don't have friends. that's where I was utterly wrong. I have so many friends, I have just been thinking they are not my friends. And this girl named Shrishti, we randomly started talking a few months back and we're still friends. I couldn't see that she was one of my closest friends. I have been tagging those 3 in my posts on Instagram when I should've also tagged all the others. I realized I should forget saanvi, sonu and harshit as they don't matter to me anymore. Saanvi's bday is coming and I will do the countdown shit bcoz one and one of the most important rules of my life is to never disappoint someone on their birthday. The one most special day of the year cannot have disappointment and sadness in it and I don't want to disappoint my ex-close friend who helped me in life several times. So then yesterday(Thursday) I went back to talk to a few old buddies. Anya- she is one friend I made on the spot. I and Anya have so fucking much in similar that it practically hurts. Anya and me, we both like; OneD, Harry, Taylor, B99, RCB, and prolly a million other things. She truly is my long-lost sister❤! Let's come back to the topic of reading....while reading I had thoughts of going back and saying sorry for what I had done but I thought if I could read more I would get more context upon what to say. That didn't happen, the writer didn't talk about that stuff later and I realized that now I have cut them off. I don't need to talk to them. I have much better friends! After reading I had another call with Sparsh and Soumya upon maths only. I wanted to ask if how I did this root on the number line was correct and I had to explain how do we know a specific root is in between two specific numbers. That went well. After that was VMC. The first class was motion. In between classes, the class was stopped due to errors from their side. And it wasn't someone's internet. It was their website that had stopped. It got repaired and then we had to join another zoom using another code. And as about 15 mins were wasted bcoz of this....the class was elongated and that was that. Luckily the second class didn't take place as the maths teacher was facing internet problems. I tried to play the guitar throughout the day yesterday but I just couldn't focus. My discipline broke and me with it😩😩😩😭 I overall felt really bad bout it. A sudden spark in me lit up to sleep at 7. oh yeah...I had been cleaning my room for half an hour before that, Although holidays start from tomorrow (Saturday (in thoughts that today is Friday (but we still are talking bout Thursday(which was yesterday)))) I HAVE OFFICIALLY NEVER SEEN SO MANY BRACKETS TOGETHER TFF. And I placed all my books appropriately on each shelf, I cleaned my stationery drawer and that was it, I was watching this youtube known as "hated Tarun" mans a good ol' joke to listen to it. He has the quality of comedy and he really can make people laugh! That is it for yesterday's (Thursdays) talk of the day. India is in a very bad condition is what I know. Too many cases and too many deaths. Oh jeez. I don't exactly know how bad it is but everyone is saying these are dark times and stuff. Hope you all are safe! Pls, take care! And if the situation t your end is bad, don't worry everything is gonna be ok! Take care loves!

PS: those are almonds 

Soham