Untouchable face

7.

Meredith was pretty sure she hadn't slept for a second the night before. She had tried, at least for a little bit she had spent most of it just staring at the ceiling and willing herself to fall asleep but it had never really come. And she had desperately needed it considering how exhausted she had been when she climbed into bed. It had been a long day. A really, really long day that had started off a nightmare and ended...she wasn't even sure. It wasn't bad, it wasn't awful, it just had been a long day. And now she didn't know how to make the long day end. Her head was full, her eyes were heavy, and she was fighting the urge to go hold her patient's hand.

It was the stupidest thing ever. The guy was stoned and suffering a brain injury and it was entirely possible that if she did go to hold his hand, he'd look at her blankly because he wouldn't remember the day before. It was very possible the guy had no idea she even existed. Yesterday, Derek Shepherd had fallen off a roof and suffered some pretty serious injuries. He had spent most of the night drifting in and out of consciousness, due to the drugs and his concussion. This morning, he would probably be a little more alert, and she was almost a hundred percent sure, he wouldn't remember her at all. And even if he did, she was his doctor. He'd call her Dr. Grey and then he'd beg to have his girlfriend let into the room again. Because that's all he really cared about, and not on some mean way, he just was living his life and those were the people that were in it.

So she had to stop thinking about him and his handholding and...everything else. It was stupid. She felt stupid and she wasn't going to be the girl who fell for a taken guy. She actually wasn't going to be the girl who fell for anyone at all, she knew better than that. It didn't work out, at least not for girls like her and until yesterday she had no problem remembering that so she just needed to keep holding on to that simple fact. Even if he didn't have a perfect girlfriend he still wouldn't be into her or something else would be horribly wrong.

So right now, she just needed to pretend everything was normal. She needed coffee and she needed something really sugary for breakfast so she could go in to talk to Derek and his mom, who was actually really...momish. Maggie would probably be there too, and Meredith really needed to stop comparing herself to the perfect blonde.

Maggie was definitely the kind of girl that life worked out for. She probably had a totally normal job that didn't make her work crazy hours and slept at night and came from a perfect family with two parents and two point five kids and all that. She probably didn't even have split ends. Which just wasn't fair. None of this was fair anymore. But she had to be used to that by now. It just didn't matter today. She had to be a great doctor and a fantastic surgeon and just not worry about good looking patients. She couldn't even think that patients were good looking, it was totally against the rules.
Alicia Prevost says
Of course Derek Shepherd kind of made it hard not to notice. His hair was kind of all over the place but it was dark and curly and she had a feeling that given anything to keep it in control it would be incredible. His face was more than a little appealing. And she had a feeling once his eyes focused more, they'd be lethal.

So it wasn't very fair that she had to be the doctor to a guy who looked like that. She just wanted to hit the universe or something. She couldn't hit the universe but if she could, she definitely would. But right now, she was just going to eat her sugary pastry and drink her coffee.

"You look like you were hit by a truck."

"What?" Meredith turned quickly. "Oh, Cris."

"You look like you got hit by a truck," Cristina repeated.

"I think I did."

"I think that's something you'd remember."

"Doubtful, actually. That would probably cause some serious memory loss and brain injuries."