Untouchable face

9.

Moving to a normal room hadn't been the experience Derek had been hoping for. He had been in a lot of pain, the drugs hadn't done anything but make him sleepy, and he had just wanted to tell Dr. Grey and the orderlies to leave him in the hallway. But instead, he had been moved to the hospital bed in his private room, and then had passed out from the pain moving throughout every inch of his body. He couldn't believe how much this hurt. Derek prided himself on having a high pain threshold, it came with growing up working construction jobs. There were too many minor injuries that you had to work through even if it hurt like hell. But nothing in his life could have prepared him for the whole way his body was on fire even with how many pain meds he was on.

Every inch of his body killed him and he really wanted to ask Dr. Grey to just cut off his leg and possibly remove his spine. He knew that wasn't possible, but he just wanted to sleep this off. He wanted to wake up tomorrow and just have this all be gone. Instead, he'd be here for weeks on end, waiting for his back and leg to heal. Or heal as much as they could. He never would be exactly normal again. He could tell Dr. Grey was trying to be gentle with him, so was Dr. Torres but he heard what they were trying to say gently. He was going to limp. He would limp and his back would probably bug him off and on forever. He'd never really be able to forget about this. And for that, he could kill Stacey. He still couldn't totally remember what had happened, and he realized he had the power to say no, but because of her...he just wasn't going to think about it anymore. He was done with her house, done with the job, and that was as far as he could really think right now. Everything in him was terrified that this could change his life and his dreams forever.

His and Mark's company was just really starting to take off, they still wanted it to get so much bigger. And he wanted to get married one day, except now he'd limp down the aisle and he had no idea how he was supposed to chase after the kids he had always dreamed of having. This wasn't supposed to be his life. He was pitying himself, he knew that. Right now, he was having a pity party and he knew what his mom would say. Or even his dad. There was no reason for a pity party, he was lucky to be alive and he could beat anything if he put his mind to it. Usually, he believed it, but right now, the pain was too intense. Once he stopped hurting so much he'd be positive, or at least try to be but right now, it seemed a lot easier to pout about this whole thing. At least he wasn't in the ICU anymore, that was something. People could come see him now, more than one at a time and his head was feeling clearer.

Mom and his sisters were talking to Dr. Grey about something, he wasn't sure what, but he wanted someone to come in. He wanted to talk and try to put his thoughts together. Right now, he had to work to piece the thoughts and words together, but he thought he could keep working on it. Or at least try. "Derek?"

"Mags?" he breathed, looking up quickly.

"You're awake," his girlfriend grinned.

"I am," he nodded. "And you're allowed to see me."

"Finally," she murmured, moving towards him. "And not for just a couple seconds either. I can get a cot."

"You...you don't have to do that, Mags," he whispered.

"I want to," she smiled as she sat down in the chair next to his bed. "I'm not good at sleeping without you."

"I don't know how much better you'll be sleeping in a hospital."

"I'll be fine," Maggie smiled. "Can I touch you?"

"Gently," he sighed.

"Okay," she murmured, running her hand over his hair.

"Hmmmm..."

"This is going to sound very...overly attached, but I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too, Mags," he smiled.