Untouchable face

19.

Derek hated being bored. He had hated being bored since he was a little kid when he had always found something to do. He used to clean his room to avoid being bored. He just hated doing absolutely nothing and right in this moment he was considering paying a nurse to come talk to him. His mom was with Amber and Emily at a doctor's appointment and Maggie had gone out for drinks with a friend, after some prodding. He was doing better, he wasn't in as much pain, he didn't need constant baby sitting. Except now he was bored and there was nothing on TV.

He liked being alone and it had seemed like a good idea. It had felt nice to be alone. But now he just felt like he had nothing to do and nothing to preoccupy himself. It was getting to the point he was almost tempted to text Mark to bring him some paperwork. Which was just pathetic. He didn't need paperwork to entertain himself, he actually found it funny that Mark had to do it all. But he couldn't think of what else to do. His back was killing him after his afternoon PT session and he just felt restless.

He was more than ready to go home. Not that he'd be able to do much more there, at least not at first but he'd be with his things. If nothing was on he could grab a book or throw on a movie and he'd probably be a hell of a lot more comfortable. But instead, he was stuck here in the hospital and once someone was doing better, people weren't in and out as much. The hospital was a lonely place and he was losing it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop his brain. He never had this much time to think. His mom always said he had a problem with overthinking everything but usually he did that while fishing or hiking or doing something that helped clear his head. Right now it felt like it was all just building up instead.

Which made his possible depression that much worse. He still wasn't sure Meredith was right about that, but it was a possibility. Things were feeling very strange these days.

He felt like everything had turned upside down on him. He had felt so lucky that last day he had worked. His patient was a bitch but besides that, life was good. But now he was stuck in bed and he was starting to feel like nothing was how he thought. He was supposed to be this totally happy guy in a completely happy relationship. And he was pretty sure things were good with him and Maggie but there times...he wasn't sure. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. Something was just feeling a little off with his life. He wasn't sure what it was but it was probably just a sign that Meredith had the right idea that maybe he was depressed. Maybe this was what depressed felt like, he really didn't know.

"Derek?"

"Hmmm..." he looked up. "Oh, hi Meredith."

"Hey," his doctor smiled as she came in.

"How are you?"

"Good," she nodded as she picked up his chart. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," he sighed.

"I know," she murmured. "Aaron said you worked hard today."

"I tried."

"He was happy with your work."

"Good."

"Where's your entourage?"

"Mom's with Emily at a doctor's appointment and Maggie's out for drinks."

"And Mark?"

"I don't actually know."

"I thought I saw him..never mind," she shook her head and mumbled something that sounded a lot like manwhore under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. Sit up for me."

"Okay," he sighed, moving to sit up.