Untouchable face

64.

This was too much. This...relationship thing was way too much and even if she liked it, Meredith was pretty much figuring that this was too much. She liked it when it was just the two of them, when she woke up in bed with his arms wrapped around her and his lips on her shoulder. But right now...right now it was too much. She had no idea what she had been thinking when she had agreed to come to family dinner. Derek's mom had been really nice to invite her but she could have said no, she could have even just said she had to work but instead she had agreed. She had agreed and now she was going. And it felt like it was too soon, far too soon. Everything had changed and now it was big. The words that she had never said before had tumbled out of her mouth and everything had changed. Now, she was going to meet Derek's family as his girlfriend who he loved, not as the doctor who was trying to save his life.

It had been a lot easier when she had been just the doctor, even when she knew she had feelings for Derek, she had been able to think of Derek's family as nothing more than Derek's family but now it was very different. Now she was the girlfriend and she had no idea what she was doing. They would probably hate her. Actually, they would definitely hate her. Sophie liked her and so did Carolyn. But Emily actually had been close with Maggie. She had seen Emily comforting Maggie a few times when Derek had been in the hospital. They had been close and now Meredith was the new girlfriend, the new person Derek loved.

She knew she had done nothing wrong. Derek told her a million times, Maggie had even told her. What happened happened and no one was to blame for the fact her and Derek had fallen in love. She got that. But she really didn't think his family was going to get that. Sometimes she even managed to forget it, like when she was freaking out in Derek's bedroom after he kissed her next to his and Maggie's picture. But things had happened and maybe they hadn't been perfect but that didn't mean there was anything dirty about them. They were good. She loved him. It was insane to think of it so easily but she did, she loved Derek. She hadn't meant to tell him so soon but it had happened and he had said it back and everything felt a little more amazing since then. She wasn't sure why but it did.

Everything felt warmer and happier and as she held his hand tightly in the car, she thought maybe it would be okay. Except they were getting closer and her heart was pounding and she was pretty sure she was going to puke. Puking would definitely not be good.

"Mer, you don't need to squeeze so hard," he murmured.

"What?" she breathed, turning to him.

"You're squeezing my hand."

"Oh...sorry," she whispered, releasing his hand.

"You didn't have to let go," he smiled.

"You just said..."

"Not so tight, you can squeeze it."

"Oh," she breathed as she took his hand again. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Oh Mer..."

"I mean it, Derek. I think I'm going to puke."

"It's going to be okay," he murmured.

"It's not, Derek. Puke is hard to clean out of cars."

"If you do, I'll clean it," he laughed. "Although it does make me happy you're still driving and it's not my car."

"You're making light."

"Trying."

"This is not a time for making light," she groaned.

"Okay, sorry."

"I really think I'm going to puke."

"Just breathe," he whispered. "You know them all."