Untouchable face

18.

Over the years, Meredith had made some really serious mistakes. Maybe mistakes was the wrong word for it, but she generally didn't make the world's best decisions. A lot of her decisions had been purely selfish and possibly slightly self-destructive. Or maybe a lot self-destructive. She was the perfect case for a psychologist, and now she had made another stupid decision. She shouldn't have said yes to Aaron. He was a really great guy and she always had a feeling he liked her but she didn't do the dating thing. And she had said fun but this was more like a date than she usually did. She wouldn't have even said yes if Maggie hadn't been so freaking nice.

Derek's girlfriend had just been so...nice and sweet and had hugged her and said things. It had been this completely awkward moment when Meredith had wanted to kill herself for having a thing for this amazing woman's boyfriend. Maggie had said nice things about her helping Derek, and everything else had just felt...wrong. She was a terrible person. So for a second it had felt like maybe going out with Aaron would be a good idea. She had no idea why because she didn't like him at all but it sounded better than going home alone and obsessing over how much she liked Derek despite the fact she really really shouldn't. Somehow, she was becoming friendly with Maggie and it just felt like she was doing something against the laws of womanhood or something to be liking another woman's boyfriend. She had done a lot of bad things in her life, but she had always avoided taken men. She had never wanted to be a homewrecker, and she wasn't starting now.

She was never going to be that girl, she just wasn't. Her mom had been that person and she wasn't her mom. So Aaron was good. He was good looking, and smart and really nice and funny and maybe she felt nothing for him but at least she wasn't hurting anybody. They were just going to have fun, a lot of fun, and maybe she could learn to like him. He wasn't a bad person at all, and she really did like talking to him at work. So maybe things would just...work out. She wasn't sure how, but she was determined to not think about Derek Shepherd tonight.

She was going to do the girl thing and listen to Aaron and try to get to know him better. She didn't do serious and he seemed to be okay with it so maybe this could be some fun. She could use a little fun to just make everything that was going wrong feel better. "Meredith!" Aaron called to her across the bar as she walked in, dressed in jeans and a low cut red sweater. She didn't do the dress up for dates thing, or the dates thing at all. But she did know she had to look good for some good fun.

"Aaron," she smiled, walking up to him.

"Hey," he grinned, kissing her cheek.

"Oh...hey," she breathed.

"A part of me thought you wouldn't show up."

"Really?"

"Surgical resident, famously single."

"Oh."

"But I'm glad you're here," he nodded as he sat down, gesturing to the bar stool next to him. "It's good to see you out of scrubs."

"It's good to be out of scrubs," she giggled.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "Margarita on ice."

"Tequila girl," he winked at her before waving to Joe, who nodded knowingly.

"Yeah."

"Wouldn't have called it."

"You wouldn't?"

"Not at all," Aaron shrugged, sipping at his beer.

"Why not?"

"You just seem so...serious a lot."

"I...I seem serious?"

"Yeah. Or troubled. But I find that hard to believe."