Untouchable face

48.

Over the years, Meredith had seen a lot of movies about girls who fell for guys who were so clearly taken it was ridiculous. She had seen those movies and she had rolled her eyes a lot and told the girls to get lives. She had never understood those girls and now, somehow, she was one of them. And it sucked. She didn't know how it happened to her, she really didn't. She didn't even believe in love or relationships and she thought the whole thing was a total waste of time. And yet the only man who had ever managed to make her question that belief had to be taken.

And not only taken, but in a relationship with a girl Meredith liked, actually and genuinely liked. And it wouldn't be so bad if Derek treated her like a friend, but that wasn't the case. Every time she was alone with him, something happened. Big things happened. And it confused her. They held hands. They hugged. Not a quick hello and goodbye hug, that she could figure out, instead they had long, lingering hugs that seemed to go on forever sometimes and usually ended in something that felt like they were about to kiss. They stopped it but they always seemed to be on the edge of it. He was taken but he was...he seemed to like her. Every day, his face lit up when she walked up to him and then he would say her name in that way that made her body tingle. She had no idea what to think of it, except that she liked it. She really liked the way she felt against his chest.

She never wanted to move when he pulled her close to him. It seemed stupid but the second she was in his arms and against his chest, she felt better than she ever did and she could just stay there forever or something. It was all lame and strange and really stupid. He was taken, actually taken. Maggie loved him and wanted to marry him. She belonged against Derek's chest, she deserved to hear the soft way he said her name, the way his eyes sparkled. Derek was taken and Meredith was the biggest idiot ever. She really needed to back off. She needed to walk away and just move on or something but the idea of not seeing Derek seemed worse than the idea of seeing Derek. She'd just miss him constantly and she knew he'd miss her too. So here she was, in the middle of a complicated chick flick that probably ended with her alone and drinking a lot of tequila and gaining a ton of weight. And this was the part in the movie where she listened to her friends laugh and talk about sex while she considered throwing herself over the balcony.

"You're really quiet," Lexie suddenly cut into her thoughts.

"What?' she looked up, moving her straw through her mostly full drink.

"You're quiet."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Oh," she shrugged.

"What's up?"

"Let me guess! Let me guess!" Cristina called drunkenly. "Broken back guy!"

"Cristina!" Lexie groaned.

"What?"

"That's not nice."

"But it's true."

"Okay but you could be nicer about it."

"Derek," Meredith sighed. "His name is Derek."

"We know," Lexie nodded.

"Derek the broken back guy," Cristina shrugged.

"Try to be human, Yang," Alex sighed.

"I am human," Cristina rolled her eyes. "He's better now."

"Okay but Meredith's clearly upset," Lexie breathed.

"I'm fine," Meredith groaned.

"Bullshit," Alex shook his head.

"Alex," she rolled her eyes.