Shawn Mendes one shots

Seven Years

It's been seven years. Seven years since Shawn left his small hometown. Seven years since Shawn has spent the entire holidays with his family at his parents' house. Seven years since he's seen you. And after all those stressful and busy years traveling the world, you have constantly been on Shawn's mind. 

It's not like he wants you to be, he's constantly trying to shove the memory of you back into the dark. Shawn doesn't want to recall all those late-night confessions nor does he want to hear your soft 'I love yous' repeat in his head at all times. He doesn't want to remember how your kisses taste of peaches nor does he want to be reminded of all the butterflies your smile used to leave in his stomach. 

Shawn wants to forget you, but even after seven years apart from each other, he still remembers all the little things and no matter what he does or how much he drinks, you do not leave his mind for even a second. 

And therefore, Shawn's heart stops for a second when he sees you from a distance in the small supermarket on the corner from where you both went to school. He watches you carefully as you tip toe to each your favourite chocolate bar and he cannot help but notice how your hair falls into your eyes. 

Shawn's body aches and he feels his stomach flip as a slight sickness seems to spread. For a second, maybe two, Shawn barely breathes. 

And then, it hits him like the rain on a stormy night, you are still it for him. You're it, always has been. 

He feels the pressure tighten in his chest as he continues to look at you while you throw the bars into the cart and run your fingers through your wild, soft hair. Shawn notice how your tongue slides between your plump lips and he feels a cold and uncomfortable shiver run down his spine within the matter of seconds. Your eyes flicker around the aisle, almost like you are searching for something in particular and that's when your eyes unexpectedly lock with Shawn's. 

When you strain a smile towards him, he swallows the lump that appears in his throat as he begins to feel slightly dizzy when you begin walking towards him with carefully steps. Shawn feels his throat tighten and as you approach him, there's a good chance he might end up vomiting. 

"Hey Shawn," You greet him, unable to hide your surprise with him being back in Pickering. Shawn feels unsteady as he strains a smile and reminds himself to take a breath. 

"Hey," He stutters while scratching the back of his neck. "Bet you didn't count on seeing me here." Shawn regret his comment the second it leaves his mouth and he has to shut his eyes shortly to cope with stress this situation is laying on him. 

"That would be an understatement." You laugh slightly while sending him a small smile. "How long has it been?" Shawn feels the warmth in his stomach when your usual friendly smile brings back all of those butterflies without you even trying. 

"About seven years, I guess." 

"That long?" You say as your eyes widen slightly. "Well, you look exactly the same as always."

"You look even better." Shawn bites his tongue as the words roll of his tongue as he feels the heat raise in his face. 

"Well, thank you." You tell him with a small laughter. You're caught off guard with Shawn suddenly being here. 

He spend years talking about how he wanted to leave this small, dull town and as soon as he had the chance, that's exactly what he did. Its bittersweet seeing him again. You didn't count on it having as much meaning as it seems to have, but to be fair, you spend all your teenage years loving him with all you had to offer. 

"So how've you been?" You ask to avoid the awkward silence that spreads between you. Shawn shoves his hands into his pickets and his heart aches a little when all he wants to say is, that he's been doing absolutely terrible without you. 

"You know, busy." He laughs uncomfortably while swallowing the lump in his throat. "But it's been good." He lies as his eyes flicker to avoid yours. 

"From what I can tell, you've been doing pretty damn good." You say while sending him a small smile. Shawn shrug his shoulders as he forces air into his aching lungs. 

"It's been alright. What about you?" 

"Well," You begin and Shawn cannot help but stare at you. "I went to nursing school, big surprise." 

 "Oh, really? That's cool. You have been talking about that since we were fourteen." 

"Yeah. And I actually work at the hospice like ten minutes from your parents' house." 

"Really?" Shawn says and his heart flicker. You had always had a massive heart with so much love to share. "That's really amazing." 

"Thank you," You tell him with a smile. "Oh and also, I got engaged." You say and hold out for hand for Shawn to see the diamond ring on your finger. 

Shawn's heart drops to his stomach and he has to fight the tears forming in his eyes from the sight. 

Shawn knows he cannot hold grudges nor does he have the right to feel hurt, because he knows, that he broke you first. He knows that you were ready to give him your all and he wasn't ready to settle down with you. 

"You're getting married?" He stutters as a bundle of knots form in his stomach. 

For some reason, Shawn still had hope about reuniting with you. In his mind, there was still a chance for him to right the biggest wrong he ever did. He had often imagined returning home and showing up at your door with flowers and the biggest love confession ever made. Just knocking on your door one night at two in the morning and tell you that all he has been able to think about for seven years was you. Telling you that he was dumb for not being ready to commit back then and that he was finally ready to give you everything you wanted. 

"I am." You say with a smile and Shawn feels sick seeing the glow that appears in your eyes. And then he feels guilty, for not wishing happiness for you. "In august, actually." 

"Congratulations." Shawn forces himself to say as he strains a smile. "That's wonderful." 

"Thank you. I would have actually thought Karen already told you?" 

"My mom?" You nod at his question as he wrinkles his forehead in confusion. 

"Your parents are going. And Aaliyah and her boyfriend." Shawn's heart seems to shatter completely as he struggles to hold back his tears. 

"My family is going to your wedding?" 

"Yes. Well, I'm actually marrying Aaliyah's boyfriend's, cousin." You explain when you see the confused look in his eyes and he nods at your words. A silence spread between you and Shawn feels a sharp yank in his chest. 

You weren't supposed to find happiness without him, you shouldn't look this good nor should you have everything under control. It was never a part of the plan, yet Shawn does know, he cannot blame his mistakes on you. 

"I spoke to your mother about inviting you." You tell him, stuttering over your words. "But she wasn't sure you would even be able to come." 

"No, yeah. I'm touring so..." Shawn says and nods his head. He knows his mother is fully aware that he's still madly in love with you and he figures she was trying to spare him unnecessary heartache. "Well, I'm really happy for you." Shawn lies as you smile back to him. 

"Thank you." You tell him and reach for your card again. "I really need to leave. I'm actually on my way to a cake tasting." 

"Yeah, sure." Shawn stutters and run his fingers through his hair. "It was nice to see you, Shawn." You say and begin to walk down the aisle. 

"Yeah, you too. And I'm glad you're happy." Shawn replies without any emotions. 

As soon as you are out of sight, the tears begin to run down his face and Shawn cannot believe that the love of his life, is getting married to someone that is not him.