Shawn Mendes one shots

Happiness

Word count: 3.1k.

In the end, Brian was the one who fed your suspicion. He didn't really mean to nor did he plan on outing his best friend, but whenever Brian started talking, he always blurred out things, he really wasn't supposed to. It was - and had been - a bad habit of his for years. That was the first time you ever heard about the incident in Amsterdam.

The suspicion had been lingering in the back of your mind for weeks, though. At some point, you had almost gone mad, but you never really mentioned it to anyone. You suffered in silence, because deep down, you feared your suspicions were right and that, you simply couldn't deal with.

Shawn had been different since he came back from tour after four months of being away. He had become colder towards you, more distant and too consumed by ambition and his bobble of fame to really pay any attention to you these days.

The loving, warm and observant Shawn you had grown up with, had gotten lost somewhere along the latest madness of his Rockstar life, and the Shawn that came back almost seemed like a stranger to you. You couldn't put your finger on exactly what it was, but something wasn't as it used to be.

Something had changed in the way he looked at you, how he spoke to you, the way he acted whenever you were around. It was different, Shawn was different to you. But in the end, he was still your fiancé.

No matter how detached he seemed to be or how much it felt like he was avoided spending one on one time with you, you still carried the shiny diamond ring on your finger as a reminder of his promise to always love you.

Even when he spent most his hours at night working on the new album, even when you hardly heard from him for days, he was still yours. You still loved him although you went to bed without him and you woke up without him.

No matter how distant he seemed to get, no matter how disconnected you felt from him or how unfamiliar he slowly became, you still loved him day in and day out. You couldn't help but care for him.

You had loved Shawn for as long as you could remember and you had been a couple for around half of your life. Truthfully, you didn't know how not to be in love with him. You didn't want to not be in love with him.

In some ways, you defined parts of yourself with being in love with him, because loving Shawn was who you were, it was who you had been since the early teenage years.

You knew, you were probably too attached to all the memories and what used to be, but not being in love with Shawn, wasn't an option you knew of. Even when it meant compromising your own happiness for his, you were still as in love with him as you had always been.

Just as in love as you were the first day that tall brown eyed, curly haired boy with a smile that made your temperature rise, had stumbled into your life and unknowingly unfolded your heart little by little until you were fully his.

And now he had you fully, but you were beginning to lose him just a little more by each day that passed.

Late nights had been the norm since Shawn began the process of the new album; Shawn's hours never really ran on regular hours but the more he climbed the latter, the later the working hours seemed to get.

By now, you were used to falling asleep to a cold and empty bed while your fiancé was riding the high of the fame that followed with his love for creating and performing music. He had a foot in each world; the ordinary life you were living and the extravagant life surrounded by models and flashing lights.

To be fair, Shawn was still there at times. He would surprise you by coming home an hour earlier than the night before, a tad distant, but present enough for you to settle. Shawn would roll into bed, his messy curls in his drowsy eyes, greedy for your familiar lips and lusting for your warm body to ease some of the tension, he tended to carry around.