Shawn Mendes one shots

Bring It Back - part two (smut)

March 4 th 2019
Pickering, Canada

I chewed on my lip as I waited for a response from Shawn and though I should have seen it coming, it still ripped me to shreds when time continued to pass and all I got from him was silence. I felt a coldness slip down my spine, covering my body in goose bumps as I swallowed the lump forming in my dry throat. My eyes stared at the screen, hardly even blink while my body vibrated underneath me.

Around half an hour passed and then, I lost track of time. It hurt too much to count the seconds that passed. Shawn not answering the text was a punch in my guts and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I was suffocating on the silence from him. I wasn't sure why I thought he would be any different and actually find the time to make me a priority.

Shawn knew this was important to me. He knew exactly what I was going on about the second I mention Amsterdam, he knew I was referring to what happen that night and how we dealt with it afterwards.

He knew and he obviously didn't care. And I guess that was what really seemed to force the ache to appear in my chest, how all of this didn't seem to matter. I had been thinking about that night for the past five years and Shawn, apparently, hadn't spared it a thought since.

But was he really leaving me hanging like this? My heart on my sleeve, entirely exposed. I had never felt more emotionally naked and somehow, I felt taken advantage of.

I could deal with the fact that maybe Shawn didn't feel the same, I could deal with the fact that maybe what happened wasn't a big deal to him. But he should at least have the balls to tell me, then. Not responding when I was putting my heart at stake was just mean.

In the back of my mind, I felt stupid thinking it would be different. Shawn had more or less overlooked our friendship most of the time anyways. He never really had time, he never really made an effort and though it pained me to admit, it didn't seem to interest him.

Maybe I was off like this. At least I knew where his priorities where at and I knew, that I wasn't on the top of the list.

I didn't want to think back on it, but as much as I tried avoiding it, I couldn't keep myself from reminiscing the night in Amsterdam. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, that night changed in my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. For the better and for the worst.

***

June 5 th 2015
Amsterdam, The Netherlands

"How are we even going to do this?" I wondered aloud, rolling the joint between the tip of my fingers.

"You're asking me?" Shawn said defensively while a laughter slipped from his mouth. I nodded back seriously, my eyes glued onto his.

I mean, I wasn't sure. Maybe it came with the superstar life.

"Like I've done this before." He said mumbled, shaking his head in response.

"Well, haven't you?" I teased him, raising my eyebrow.

Shawn rolled his eyes at me to show his annoyance to my question. Though he tried acting offended by my innocent accusation, he failed terribly at it. He couldn't hold back the tiny giggles and I couldn't stop the mocking smirk that reached the surface of my face.

"You're funny, eh?" Shawn fired back. "No, it's a first for me too." He mocked as he took the blunt from my hands.

"Don't wave around with it like that." I hissed at him, while reaching down to Shawn's hand to cover the weed. "I don't want to get caught, jerk."