January 9 th, 2026
It was a rather chilly but sunny day in Pickering when you made your way towards the white house at the end of the street. The closer you got, the more you felt a sickness reached the surface of your stomach. You hadn't been here in ages, actually, you hadn't been here since the night you finally decided to leave.
You felt a lump in your sore throat as you rang the doorbell and the familiar tone sounded from your push. It felt strange to you, ringing the doorbell to your previous house. Normally, you would just lock yourself inside and though you still had a key, you could no longer do that. It didn't feel appropriate to you.
While you waited for Shawn to open the door, faded memories of your time here snuck in on your mind. Just stand outside, looking at this house you were supposed to be living in was enough to force a sharp pain to spread in your chest.
You remembered falling in love with this house the very first time you saw it. Shawn had been looking for the perfect place to start a familiar and he had been beyond exited to show you this particular one.
Back then, things were a lot simpler. Shawn and you were happy, unbreakable even. And you had just known from this beginning that this was right to you, there was no hesitations, no fears, not even a safety net because after you met Shawn, nothing seemed more right than to spend your life with him.
And you had been just as sure about this house. It was everything you both wanted. It was close to where you grew up and the woods where Shawn loved running in the morning. It had a huge garden for family get togethers, bonfires and a playground for the children you both wanted to have. You had been so sure you wanted to start your own family here with Shawn. A happy one.
But eight years later, your life was falling apart and everything in front of you seemed to be some blurry nightmare of what could have happened. Back then, you would never have imagined the possibility of leaving Shawn behind.
It wasn't because you didn't love him and you continued telling yourself that because as much as it hurt you, feelings demand to be felt and you couldn't just turn off whatever emotions you were struggling with. You had to be okay with the choice you made and you had to take the consequences following. But that was okay, because was simply never around and it wasn't enough for you.
It felt like being married to a ghost.
You knew his music was important, you knew it would take much of his time and you were accepting of that, but whenever he had the opportunity to put Leah and you first, you felt like he never made that choice.
Something else always seemed more important than you and your family. Shawn was a great dad, surely, when he was there. The hard fact was just that most of the time, he wasn't. You missed him too much to carry on like this and he never fully understood where you came from or the hurt you were experiencing.
The past year had made you miserable to say the least. It was tiring fighting for someone who was never around and never seemed to care enough to put up a fight. At one point, you just lost it. You lost yourself and who you were and you were slowly but surely, drowning in all the things you didn't get to say.
You used to be the most outgoing and happy person, who was always smiling and joking around. That's who Shawn fell in love with too. And suddenly, she was gone and you couldn't even recognize your reflection in the mirror. You kept letting yourself slip further and further away.
You needed passion, love, cuddles, presence. It was all you needed, all you ever asked for.
But in the end, Shawn couldn't give you that and you had been denying it for months, hoping he would change with time and in the end, you ran out of excuses for his behavior.
YOU ARE READING
Shawn Mendes one shots
FanfictionThese stories are reposted from my tumblr account babyshawwn. The stories are uploaded from oldest to newest and I do recommend you read the new ones first, since my writing has gotten better with time. Smut = sexual content. All stories are writt...