Shawn Mendes one shots

Bring It Back

March 1st 2019
Pickering, Canada

From y/n: Your mom said you were back in town. Want to meet up for coffee?

As I pressed the send button on my phone to deliver the, what might seem like a harmless text message, I immediately felt my heart beat faster. I chewed on my bottom lip as I stared down at the white screen, repeatedly reading the words I had typed out a few moments ago while my chest continued pounding and I found it harder to breathe than normally.

I threw my body back on the bed as I collapsed into the sheets and cuddled myself down the two white pillows at the top of my bed. A strange but rather uncomfortable feeling seemed to leave goose bumps all over my body as I played nervously with my phone in my hands to cope with the painful waiting game.

Today was the day.

The day I was going to confess and tell Shawn how I really felt about him. Tell him, what was really going on inside my mind and my rather fragile heart.

Shawn had been gone for months now and I had spent most of those months debating whether or not to come clean, knowing perfectly well how much it could end up backfiring, but somehow, I had still managed to come to the conclusion that I needed to get this off my chest.

Keeping a secret like the one I was carrying around, and had been carrying around for quite a while, was mentally exhausting and I simply wasn't able to deal with it any longer. For the past few months I had been feeling this ache in my chest and no matter how much I tried denying it or pretend like it didn't bother me, I couldn't ignore how much it seemed to impact my life. To be completely honest, I was going mad keeping my feelings to myself and I was beginning to lose all my senses.

I had wanted to tell Shawn for quite a while. Just lay my cards on the table and see what happened, deal with whatever consequences it might bring upon us and our friendship, but he never seemed to have the time. Or at least, he never really found the time to me anymore. Shawn had been my best friend since kindergarten and we had shared most of our childhood with each other, honestly, we had shared most of whatever time we had.

Over the years, Shawn had grown to be my person and I had grown to be his. I had never experienced a friendship as deep and genuine as the one I evolved with him throughout the years. We got each other in ways no one else could ever do and as time passed, I was one of those pathetic people, who fell in love with their best friend.

But time went by and Shawn's career peaked in ways neither of us had ever imagined. And sure I was happy for him, proud to fullest but I also spent a few years watching how he slowly slipped from my fingers and there was nothing I could do about it. And the more silence I was met with from his side, the more I became aware that you could indeed be homesick for people too.

And that was exactly why I needed to get these feelings off my chest. I couldn't keep saving myself for someone who didn't even bother to find some time for me. I needed a fresh start and somehow it felt like, despite how much it may hurt me, that I needed to move on from this fantasy I had been holding on to and unfortunately, that meant telling Shawn how I was really feeling.

I had to uncover the 'more than friends' feelings I had been carrying around and been hiding since that one day. I had indeed tried my best to forget those unwanted feelings that had been blooming slowly but surely in my heart.

Just forget how the butterflies reached the surface of my stomach whenever he sent me a smile or forget how my heart began beating faster when I glanced towards him and caught him already looking my way. Forget how I lost my ability to speak whenever he was walking around in nothing but shorts hanging low from his hips or how I felt nothing but safe and at home in his presence.