Shawn Mendes one shots

The Only Exception

Shawn was the kind of guy that on the outside seemed like such an innocent boy but those who actually knew him, knew that was the biggest fake facade you could ever come across.

I couldn't count how many girls he had slept with only using my ten fingers. I couldn't keep up with the names of the girls that had walked out of our front door after a night out and I surely couldn't keep track on how many girls, he snuck in late at night when he thought I was already sleeping.

And of course, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I had been fooled by his innocent act myself when I had first met him several years ago. He was bloody good at keeping up the act and he surely knew it himself.

Shawn didn't give his heart away; it had never been an option for him. It was as simple as that. It was easier for him not to get attached. Only having late one night stands that somehow felt a bit along the lines of love than it was for him to actually put his heart at risk and see where it could actually take him.

And I've learned by now that if I bounced to close, it would only resolve in him punching me ten steps back - or if I pushed him too hard - all the way back to the beginning.

Surely, he was my flatmate and we were close but I never got close enough to see inside his mind and untangle the lock he'd been putting around his heart for many years.

Shawn's heart wasn't for anyone to own and I'd always thought I was no exception of his number one rule.

I had spent years teaching myself that my late-night hook ups with Shawn didn't mean anything and that I couldn't let myself slip in too deep. It had taken me years to master the fact that I couldn't put too much into his loving words, because they simply didn't have the same meaning when they came from him as they otherwise would have.

Shawn's soft hand ran down my bare back, his fingers gently following my backbone all the way down my spine. His touches left my skin quivering behind - just like they always did - whenever his fingers were on my skin. I felt his eyes burning on my naked body but I didn't turn around to face his gaze.

Shawn had come home rather late last night, clearly drunk and in the mood for having some seriously rough sex.

Actually, I was pretty sure it wasn't the sex he desperately needed, but the urge to feel intimate with someone, feel close or maybe even safe with another human being. Though he kept denying it, I knew his deeply craved the intimicy.

I couldn't even imagine how lonely it must be at times, when you never let your guard down or let yourself be vulnerable around someone else.

Lonely. He must feel utterly lonely at times.

His fingers continued to move around on my tender skin, touching the places on my body that his teeth had bit hardly into last night.

"Are they sore?" he rasped, his voice sounded rather concerned as his finger slipped across an aching spot on my lower back.

"You didn't hold back, that's for sure" I whispered back, biting into my bottom lip.

"I guess I got a bit carried away" he chuckled, pressing his palm against the hickeys on my naked skin. His gentle touches made a sweet chill run down my spine.

The thing was, I loved it. I loved when Shawn left traces from his mouth on my body, it reminded me it was real. That it wasn't all in my head.

As much as I tried denying it over and over again, I was in this way too deep. But I had gotten better at ignoring that nagging feeling creeping in on me whenever I thought about it. I had even taught myself to push it away again to forget at times even.