Line blurb using: We don't make each other happy anymore and What if there was someone out there who could?
***
"So what are you telling me?" Shawn screamed, slamming his shut fist into the dining table. He punched hard enough to leave the wooden surface vibrating. "You're into this guy now?"
His stuttering words left the room silent. I watched as the tears reached the surface in his familiar but somewhat empty eyes as he chewed roughly into his plump bottom lip. I could tell he was trying to swallow the sobs pressing on as the tears began sliding down his heated cheeks.
You didn't blame him for being angry with you, you couldn't possibly, but it hurt your heart anyways. You had never seen Shawn like this before, as upset as he was right this moment. Shawn had never yelled at you before, he barely even rose his voice towards you.
"I don't know, Shawn." You stuttered at his furious question. You could tell the anger was boiling in his veins and you barely had the courage to look him in the eyes. "I just...I guess he..."
"He what?" Shawn spit back, raising his eyebrow towards you. His body was fuming but you couldn't tell whether it was anger or hurt. "Does he love you better than I do? Treat you better? Does he make you feel better than I can?"
Shawn had to force the words from his mouth as his eyes fell on you. After a few seconds, you had gathered enough strength to meet his burning stare. Behind the hard, angry surface you could tell his heart was ripping to shreds and knowing you had done that to him, made a coldness rush down your spine as a lump appeared in your throat and kept you from breathing properly. Shawn was fighting the tears but as much as he tried preventing new ones from falling, he continuingly lost the battle.
You licked your dry, trembling lips as you did your best to hold back the tears. You throat tied together as a sickness spread in your stomach just by looking at the expression on Shawn's face. He was cold, distant to you.
"No, Shawn. It's not like that." You assured him as you soften your voice.
"Then what?" He fired back, clenching his jaw.
"He's not you, Shawn, but he's here. He's around." You told him as the tears started dripping from your sore eyes. "He doesn't have to leave me all the time."
Even saying those words felt like betrayal towards Shawn, but as much as they gave my mouth a bad taste, it was how I had been feeling the past couple of months.
"That's not fucking fair and you know it." Shawn squealed back at my honest confession. He sounded beyond furious but his voice cracked over at the end and I could tell the sobs were taking control.
As Shawn leaned back in the chair I watched as the anger began fading. His plump lips began to tremble and his flushed cheeks were soaked with salty tears. He was slowly but sure giving in to his emotions as he began feeling the hurt spread to his bones. It was hard for you seeing him like this, suffering right in front of you, because of something you said. It stung deep into your chest but the nagging pain had been growing wide for quite a while. Actually, it grew wider each time Shawn left you behind.
Tears ran uncontrollably down your sore cheeks and in the matter of seconds, you were almost choking on the sobs slipping from your mouth. Each desperate gasp for air began burning in your lungs as all you could do was sit here, watch the guy that you loved hurt, knowing you were the reason why. You never wanted to hurt Shawn. It was never the intention, but you couldn't keep hurting yourself on his behalf.
"I know it's not fair, Shawn." You stuttered, wiping tears away from your cheeks. "It's fucking breaking my heart too. As much as I wish I could handle your lifestyle... I didn't sign up for this."
Though the words blurred from your mouth, you had struggled speaking properly. Your heart was racing as the ache began running through your veins.
Shawn bit into his lip to deal with the hurt as he tried strangling the cries wanting to escape his mouth. He pushed his fingers through his curls as he sighed deeply. A silence spread but the tension continued hanging thick in the air.
Shawn's thumb traced the silver ring on his left fingers as his eyes flickered to meet your aching stare. It was the first time Shawn looked at you long enough to notice you were suffering too. Within the matter of seconds, his hard eyes soften and you could almost catch a glimpse of his familiar, warm stare.
"But I love you." He whispered desperately.
"You know I love you too." You told him, reaching for his warm hands. "But we don't make each other happy anymore. We haven't made each other happy in such a long time. Look at us, Shawn. All we ever do is make each other cry."
Shawn reached for your sore cheeks as his thumb slid down your face, removing a few salty tears on the way. As his finger slid across your lips, you hurried to press them against the tip of his finger.
"You used to make me happy." Shawn mumbled, as his dark eyes fell on mine. We shared a soft but sad smile.
"But I don't anymore. What if there was someone out there who could make us happy again?" You finally said the words neither of you wanted to.
The words that had been eating you up, constantly been surfacing in your mind. You knew it, Shawn knew it. But it was too hard to admit, too much pain to say those words aloud. Maybe if you held on a little longer, fought a little harder.
"You deserve to be happy again, Shawn. And I can't do that. Not anymore."
The panic rushed over Shawn's face as his wild eyes stuck on yours. He shook his head at your words and though it pained you to, you had to remove your hands from his.
"But you're still the love of my life. You still make me the happiest man on earth."
"Shawn, please." You begged him. "You know that's not true."
"But it used to be. It used to be true." He begged you with tears in his eyes.
"We deserve better than used to. You deserve better than used too, Shawn." You told him as you shut your eyes and leaned forward to place a tender kiss on his forehead.
Shawn's hand locked around yours and you allowed yourself to take in the last few seconds of feeling his warmth against your skin, fully aware it would be the very last time.
YOU ARE READING
Shawn Mendes one shots
FanfictionThese stories are reposted from my tumblr account babyshawwn. The stories are uploaded from oldest to newest and I do recommend you read the new ones first, since my writing has gotten better with time. Smut = sexual content. All stories are writt...