Shawn Mendes one shots

When You're Ready (Smut)

Word count: 7,5k

A/N: I don't even know what this is to be honest nor how I feel about it, lol. It should be possible to read the story without the smut part and still get it, you can skip the second section to avoid. I'd love some feedback.

"I want-t to fuck you" Shawn's teasing yet slurred words sounded at the other end of the phone. My blurred eyes caught the clock beside the bed as I rubbed them to fully gain back my vision.

Three in the morning.

"Wha-what?" I asked still half asleep.

Shawn always went straight to the point after a couple of beers and this filter he usually had when choosing his words carefully completely disappeared.

"I want to fuck you, tonight" he gasped into the phone as small laughter's sounded in the background.

"Where are you?"

"At mine, we had a little party" he grinned and I could easily imagine the wide smirk on his flushed face just by hearing him stutter through his words.

"On a Wednesday?"

"Privileges of being a s-super star" he laughed as his words continued to trip over each other on the way out.

"Oh, I see. Party boy Mendes is back" I sighed as the nagging feeling suddenly appeared in my chest.

Shawn partied when he felt lonely; he surrounded himself with people he barely knew while desperately trying to fill the empty space in his heart. I knew his house was – or had been – filled with whatever models he had on speed dial this week - and that thought alone - was enough for my heart to crumbled completely and sink into my stomach. It gave me the kind of heartache that I felt in my bones.

"I thought groupies was a part of that too, can't any of them fulfil your needs?" I snapped back but he was too drunk to catch the slight change in my tone.

"I don't want groupies, I want you."

"You know, you should really stop lying"

"I'm not!" he said, defensively. "I only want you. On my bed. Completely naked."

"Aren't your place full of people?"

"I can kick them out in the matter of seconds, honey, just say you'll come over" he begged me but my heart lingered at the way he called me honey.

It was sweet and genuine. Honey was mine to have; I was the only one being given that word and I probably held on to it much more than I was supposed to.

I rubbed my temples as I debated whether or not to give in to his offer; my heart wanting one thing, my brain another.

"I just want to see you" Shawn whispered, honestly. "And hold you. And kiss you. Don't you want to kiss me too?" he pouted as I imagined the usual puppy eyes he always sent me when trying to convince me to whatever he wanted.

"You know I do" I gave in, biting the tip of my nail.

"Then come over, honey. All I want is to see you."

And with those simple words – that meant the world to me but not nearly as much to him - my heart wasn't strong enough to fight him on it.

"I'll be there in fifteen" I said, knowing exactly how much I was going to regret giving in later.

***

"Shawn?" I called out after locking myself into the big, white, Toronto based apartment.

I had gotten his keys the first week he moved in; at first, he wanted me to use it to 'water his plants' when he wasn't home but it hadn't taken me long to realize that it was quicker, quieter and easier to set up our secret meetings at four in the morning if I was able to just lock myself in.