Shawn Mendes one shots

Understand

Cracking noises from the flames in the beige brick fireplace hanging on the wall, filled the otherwise silent living room. These faint but warm noises always made me feel somehow calm.

I loved the heat filling up the room, I loved shutting my eyes and listen to the flames crack slowly, I loved how it all felt like home to me.

I could sit here, on the blanket on the floor for hours, just listening to the tiny but cosy dins. Shawn was sitting on the sofa, probably re-reading new lyrics for the hundred time.

I took a sip of the wine Shawn brought home, feeling the cold liquid cooling my otherwise heated body. My eyes were still gazing at the beautiful human sitting across from me.

Just looking at him right now – not doing anything specific – even forced a warm feeling to reach the surface of my stomach.

Shawn's finger was sliding back and forth the edge of his wine glass, as he bit his tongue roughly, not taking his focused eyes of the pieces of paper he was writing the lyrics on.

His cheeks were heavily flushed, but they always did that when Shawn was drinking. He was wearing his hoodie from IheartRadio and that silvering on his middle finger. His lips were dry but rosy and every time his tongue licked them, it made my heart skip a beat.

I loved those night, we were doing this. We didn't really talk, neither did we touch each other, but somehow it still felt so intimate sharing these nights together.

We had made it to the point in our relationship, where we could enjoy each other's company without actually having to communicate.

I just felt lucky that I could sit here - in front of the fireplace - and look up at the guy, I loved with all my heart. I felt lucky, very lucky but that being said, I despised the fact that I would never feel good enough for Shawn.

He was out of my league and I knew that, I knew that when he got together and three years later, I still knew it was the truth.

I'd never been able to figure out, why the hell he picked out of the candidates in the world. Why me? Why would anyone ever love me? Especially a guy like Shawn.

Shawn's eyes shoot from the paper down to me and a little but very loving smile met my eyes. Shawn tilted his head to the side, blowing me an air kiss.

I rolled my eyes at him, taking another sip of my white wine. We didn't take our eyes of each other, we just sat across from each other, smiling tenderly to each other.

"What are you thinking about?" Shawn asked me, putting down the pen and leaning back in his chair. I crossed my legs, rubbing my ankles nervously.

"Nothing" I whispered back, pouring down yet another sip of wine.

"Honey, I know that's not true. You've got that look in your eyes"

"What look?" I asked, wrinkling my forehead at him. A slight laughter slipped out of his mouth, as he was shaking his head a little.

"What look?" I clucked back once agin.

"The look. The only look I don't like getting. The look that lets me know, you're hurting inside" Shawn said, seriously.

He noticed more things about my behaviour than I really gave him credit for. But I guess it was a part of somehow still keeping my walls up, protecting my fragile heart.

My fingertips rubbed my palms as my eyes were flickering around the dim room, only being lit up by the flames. My hands suddenly seemed damp and for some reason, they started shaking slightly.