never really felt like i belonged, so i'll be on my way and i won't be long
tw//major character death, drowning, breakdowns, suicide, and more sensitive topics. read at your own risk.
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frozen, the world simply froze in place, from the moment she saw the bus pass over to the blood that leaked towards her feet. to the blue and red lights, to the stretcher that took the body away. she was frozen. everything around her moved while her world was frozen.
the countless times she'd witness this, the countless times she'll ever witness this. it will always hurt, no matter what armour she put on, it would always hurt. as if she had been pierced with arrows several times, this was a poison tip.
with ears ringing, she dropped to her knees, the whole scene had been cleared as they left her there without a word. it wouldn't have been a surprised if they had not even noticed she was stood there. bringing her hands up to her head, they covered her ears as stinging formed in her eyes.
the feeling slid down and down till she was having a full on breakdown. no longer in control of her own mind she was overflooded by the atmosphere of her surroundings. high alert but disassociated, she was losing it. that was just fact, overtaken by her own bottled up emotions.
this had surely taken the throne to her trauma, it rammed itself into her head forcing her to make it stick. panic, her head was dizzy from the crying and hyperventilating. her body ran cold and her lungs struggled to breathe after intaking so much unnecessary oxygen. holding her head in her hands, the tear stains that lingered on her face, her tears starting to travel down her hands.
the wave after the severity came her numbness, slowly losing feeling to her hands and face. detaching her hands from her face, she stared as they shook furiously. swallowing her own saliva, she no longer felt a use in the world. the realization that the world had finally moved without her came into view.
she was no longer her main character, a mere puppet to the world's theatre. the side character who's purpose had been served and was now discarded like the rest of the theatre's characters. the second choice, the understudy. pushing herself up from her shambles, she stood, slightly still dissociated from her body.
what was even left for her anymore? who could she go to? where could she go to? turning back to the railing, she considered. she considered it long and hard, minus the long part. she knew her answer, she knew it letter to letter. reaching out to the railing, the coldness of it imprinted itself into her hands.
her senses enhanced as she reached out to her phone. completely removing the passcode, she wrote her last message to her world. keeping it open and placing it delicately onto the floor of the bridge. swinging her leg over the railing, she kept her back to the water ahead.
taking in her last gasp of air she planted a broken smile on her face as the stinging tears continued. staring up to the stars that littered the sky every night. she inhaled and let go, pushing off of the railing and fell. shortly she collided into the water, her tears replaced with hell itself.
drifting further and further she began to struggle, her lungs started to fill like a bathtub. closing her eyes from stinging any further, she began to cough out, choking furiously. she struggled more and more, the tides colliding into her made her anxiety raise to the sky.
shaking more and more in the water her breathing slowed and her pulse became more and more livid to her. the world around her turning more and white bright as her surroundings enhanced. the feeling of her eyes rolling back into her head till she could no longer feel.
goodbye.
🔪
the sound of a notification ripped the silence in the room. letting out an annoyed sighed he reached out for it, seeing the display name as yujun gifted him another wave of annoyance. opening it up, the first words made his heart drop to the depths of the sea.
hello, from this contact name i assume you are jisung? this is officer oh, we found this phone at the edge of hangook bridge with a message left. we believe it was left here by the owner after they.. after they took the leap into the water.
if you have any info to help us about the owner could you please contact us at the station near hangook bridge.
what? no. it couldn't be real, it couldn't be. the anger and annoyance he had for her brushed off like dust, why did she do it? his eyes darted, seeking more info, the news spread like wildfire, several news articles displayed. taking in every bit of info into mind, the bus crash, the suicide.
putting two and two together he realized what happened. the effects of witnessing a death right in front of your eyes would take a toll on someone so severely. especially if it had happened several times. shaking his head aggressively he couldn't accept it. she couldn't be dead this was all a lie, a dream.
it couldn't be real, it shouldn't be real, he's being lied to, it's all just a lie, it's all a lie. his body shook as he progressively got worse. his mind twisted and his head ached, overwhelmed and yet not at the same time. learning the information hurt, knowing the information hurt. everything about it hurt. why was he mad?
the death of two major people in his life tormented him as time passed, the world turned and grew but his mental state didn't. stuck between the past in the present, he could never move on, he could never feel alive again. his life was sucked out of him, his world was taken away from him. hollow, a shell of his own person tossed into the abyss of life.
🔪
opening her eyes, she gasped out, reaching out for her chest. coughing immensely, where was she? looking around the world seemed blank, like a never ending abyss canvas. reaching out her hands, she couldn't believe she was in her current body. how was she still here?
pushing off the ground she walked for what seemed like miles. the outline of a door seemed to be her saving grace from the makeshift hell. touching her hand to the handle, a wave of frigidness ran up her arm.
putting force into opening the door, she gasped at the sight when it opened. taking a step out onto the grass, she took in the landscape. walking into the open, a mirror was present in the very open. looking at her self in it, the mirror's surface swirled until it turned into the real world. the image of the park boy formed. smiling softly, she made a place on the grass to just watch. silently as the world turned with him.
