For Your Love. {Damiano David}

Chapter Twenty Four - The Way We Say Goodbye.

I stayed in here for ages
I felt the sunlight fading on you, you know
On you, you know

But it's the way we say goodbye
It kills me now
It's the way we say goodbye
It kills me now
And I won't look back in time
'Cause darling, it's just the way we say goodbye

So take this plane, delay it
I heard the music fading
With you, you know
With you

We'll stay outside the cages
And read all the last pages
With you, you know
With you

And I miss you, God I miss you
Well love, I miss you, you know I do.

21:30

Damiano had texted my mum to let her know he wouldn't be coming home tonight, that he was staying at Victoria's. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't just sit here and wait on him all night. I needed to talk to him. I sigh and get up from the couch, making sure to grab Nonna's car keys from the table. I didn't even grab a jacket.

"And where are you going?" I hear Nonna say from the stairs.

"I'm going to talk to Damiano" I tell her as she nods with a smile.

"Go get him sweetheart" 

Oh trust me, I will. I quickly run out into the stormy night and rush over to her car. I pulled out of that parking spot so fast, I was already down the road ten seconds later. I knew ever since we had sex the other night, I had been slightly distant emotionally. I knew he could tell but he didn't want to push me in talking about it. I hadn't been great. I was just being a coward. 

21:53

I walk up the familiar path to Victoria's apartment building and ring the buzzer a few times, waiting impatiently in the rain. I was drenched. My hair was so wet, I was having to cuddle myself to create warmth seeing as my white top had become see through and I couldn't move without the wet fabric of my jeans rubbing against my thighs uncomfortably. 

"Hello?" I hear her voice through the buzzer.

"Vic, it's me. Is Damiano there?" 

"I'm here" I hear someone say from behind me. I turn around to see Damiano in his long black jacket, his hair soaking wet with a cigarette between his lips and a bag of food in his hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Well it's nice to see you too" I chuckle softly, he didn't look amused. "Can we talk...?" He didn't look convinced. "Please?" 

He sighs and nods slowly, using a spare key to get into the apartment building. When we get inside, he drops his bag and turns to me, expecting me to go on with what I had to say. 

"Look.. I'm sorry I've been cold recently and for today, I didn't mean for it to come out how it sounded. Honest"

"Well what did you mean Eve?" He mumbles, fumbling with his keys. 

"I...I don't know" I admit.

"Great" He nods. "Great talk" He goes to pick up his bag and tries to walk away.

"No, come on. Wait a second" I stop him. "I've apologized, what else can I do?"

"Mean your apology" He turns around, spitting at me. He catches me off completely. "You act like nothing hurts you and then you get cold and take it out on everyone else with your cruel words. Let me tell you, that's something I never missed about you"

"What did I do that was cruel huh?!" I exclaim genuinely interested on what the hell he was talking about.

"You brushed me off as if we were nothing! As if we hadn't been getting closer and we weren't becoming intimate with each other!" 

"We are nothing Damiano! We aren't girlfriend and boyfriend so what did you want me to say? Oh we've been having sex, that's about it! You haven't asked me to be your fucking girlfriend so what was I supposed to fucking say!" I was so angry. 

"You've been brushing me off, especially the last twenty four hours so don't even try and deny it"

"Who's denying?! I will admit I haven't exactly been all hugs and kisses unless we're having sex but what do you expect me to do when I don't know what we are! You can't just run off about something and not talk to me about it" I tell him. "And also... have you not maybe thought I'm too scared to throw everything back in your arms again just like that and not take time to think about it?"

"Mamma mia, here we go again!" He shouts angrily. "You don't trust me at all!"

"Please don't be angry with me" I whisper. I hated this, I hated how quickly things went from good to bad. I hated us yelling at each other.

"I am angry with you and I have a good reason to be angry at you!" He yells. "You can't do this to me, you can't keep me going around in circles, if you don't love me say it."

"I can't believe we're having this conversation right now" I shake my head at him. "I am trying to find the courage to give you my heart again but the idea scares me so fucking much. I am trying to let you love me  but I need time to heal. This is not my fault, this wouldn't have happened... if you didn't walk away from us without a word."

"I've said I'm sorry Eve! If you thought I was such an asshole, why didn't you just walk away" He mumbles, turning his back sadly. 

"So that's it? You're just going to walk away?"

"I know I'm not good enough for you" He says, pressing the lift button. "But I'm not going to spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I am because I've done everything I can possibly do to make up for what I did"

The lift door opens and he wipes his tears with the back of jacket sleeve. 

"You're a coward you know that? I know I'm one but so are you! You don't fight for love, you're fucking terrified of it just like me!" He gets into the lift. 

"Damiano!!" I shout. 

"I'm sorry I broke you amore, I'm so fucking sorry" He whispers as the doors close quickly.

"Damiano!!!" I shout, hitting the elevator door angrily. "Dami please!!" 

He gave up. He fucking gave up on everything we had been trying to build up the last few days. I cry out, continuously slapping my hand against the closed door. I begin to fall slowly to the ground until my back had touched the wall and I lost all energy to even move. The tears spilled down my face and I sobbed into my hands brokenly. 

This was all my fault. This was my fault for being such a fucking coward. I pushed him away. I pushed him away and now he was hating himself because of it. I broke him.... and I broke myself even more. 

That's the moment I realized just how bad I truly needed him, I wasn't scared of getting my heart broken again... I was scared of losing him.

But now it was too late. 

.......

Soooooo the tables turned pretty quickly. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!