For Your Love. {Damiano David}

Chapter Seventy Five - Sorry.

Sorry that I can't believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

I run away when things are good
And never really understood
The way you laid your eyes on me
In ways that no one ever could
And so it seems I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open 'til the end

And I'm sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind

And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn't me
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you.

I turn the keys in the door of my apartment and push the door open to reveal the place I practically self destructed in. It was still a mess... I guess I didn't expect to have the company I had now. 

"Sorry about the mess" I apologize quietly, immediately rushing over to pick up the scattered clothes around my sitting room floor. How could I forget about this horrible fucking mess. This was so unlike me.

"I..It's okay" He nods his head slowly. "This isn't like you is it? I mean you are always so clean" He mentions glancing around which has me chewing on my gum worriedly. I quickly make my way over to the bathroom, scanning the room to see if there was anything he would notice and thankfully there wasn't. I breathe out in relief and walk over to the sink to wash my face softly, the cold water hits my face which wakes me up immediately as I cup a handful in my hand and rinse my mouth out with it. Eventually I stand back up straight to glance at myself in the mirror, my face had whitened in fear which made it clear something wasn't right. We couldn't stay here... I didn't want to be here right now, it was reminding me of all the sleepless nights, the food I never ate and left laying around, the self harm wounds in the bathroom...I nod to myself and head for the door in the room.

"Hey babe? How about we just stay at a hotel for th...." I walk out of the bathroom and freeze in the doorway just in time to see Damiano stroll out of my bedroom, staring down at my bottle of anti-depressants that was clutched in his hand. Maybe checking my bedroom would have been a better idea... His head glances up weakly, the colour from his face had drained just like mine had previously and his mouth parts slowly. He clears his throat shakily before speaking. 

"What are these Eve?" He mumbles seriously, staring right through me.... his expression was cold and it was worrying me. What could I even reply to him with? Shit yeah... I was depressed, I maybe still I am... I don't even know. Why? Oh I was depressed because I hated myself so much and didn't believe I was good enough to be loved the way I wanted to be loved. Yeah... because that was a conversation starter wasn't it? 

I can't physically open my mouth to speak, all my confidence seeps away from me drastically and I'm standing there vulnerably before him. 

"Eve?" He questions again seriously, lowering his hand to his side. Pull yourself together Eve. 

"I.. I... They're m-mine" I nod slowly, glancing around the room to avoid his eye. 

"I know they're yours... they have your name on them. But why do you have them?" His voice whispers, pain clear in his tone. 

"I..I have them because I wasn't well for a while. I wasn't mentally well and I needed help... I haven't taken them since before I went to Italy again so it's okay, I don't need them anymore" I try to reassure, I couldn't tell if I was trying to reassure him or myself at this point.