For Your Love. {Damiano David}

Chapter Twenty Five - Find You.

I can hear the sound
Of your barely beating heart
Pieces on the ground
From a world that fell apart

Just hold on
It won't be long

I will find you here inside the dark
I will break through
No matter where you are
I will find you
I will find you

Like the wind that cries
I can feel you in the night
A distant lullaby
Underneath the shattered sky

Just hold on
It won't be long

*Small mention of suicide so if it's a trigger, please do not read*

"Eve, Eve are you okay?" I hear a panicked voice question. I was mid panic attack so I couldn't even turn my head from my lap as my body violently shook in fear. Arms wrap around me and I crumble into them, crying and shouting my heart out as I gripped onto their arm. By the scent of the person, I could tell it was Ethan straight away. 

"Va tutto bene Eve, sono qui. Non preoccuparti." (It's okay Eve, I'm here. Don't worry)

I couldn't be here. I couldn't let anyone see me like this, I push away from Ethan apologizing profusely, begging him not to say a word to anyone before taking off out into the night. I ran so far out that view that I wouldn't be found. When I'm finally alone, I lean my head back against the wall attempting to breathe as that familiar pain in my chest returns.

Why did it have to hurt so damn bad?

03:55

 I sat in the car staring out at the view in front of me, my thoughts overpowering me as I tried to push back the voices telling me to drive Nonna's car off the cliff and end it all. 
Was I being ridiculous? I couldn't tell you. I couldn't feel or take in a single thing. The tears had stopped three hours ago and I had been sat here for the last two hours, staring out at the sea. I was so fucking angry at myself, I was so god damn disappointed.
He had tried to love me and I pushed him away, I didn't give him time to show me. Part of me wanted to turn this car back around and go to Victoria's but I knew I couldn't. Everyone would be in bed... I wonder if Damiano was asleep or if he was out staring numbly just like me. 

The music channel was playing the most depressing songs quietly as I found myself nodding my head tiredly to the soft beats. My phone had been ringing all night, every single call was from Ethan. He was currently trying to get through to me now... what the hell was he doing still up? 

"Hello?" I pick up the phone.

"Eve, where are you?" He asks immediately in his soft Italian accent. 

"I'm okay Ethan" I breathe.

"No you're not. Tell me where you are... I will come to you"

I knew he wasn't going to give up. 

"I'm up the hill we used to have bonfires at"

"The cliff?!" He exclaims fearfully. 

"Don't worry, I'm not trying to kill myself. I just needed a good view to stare out to for a while"

"I'm on my way"

He was true to his word. He arrived ten minutes later, if this was anytime in the day... he would definitely have gotten a ticket. He gets out his car and rushes over to my side of the car, pulling the door open and wrapping his arms around me immediately. 

"I was so worried" He admits, stroking my hair.

"How's Damiano?" I ask, getting straight to the point.

"I wouldn't know, I've been out looking for you all night"

"You didn't have to do that Ethan, I feel ter.."

"You're my best friend Eve. I was eager to do it" He tells me, pulling away from the hug. "Come on, I'll take you back to my apartment" He smiles kindly, helping me out of the car and into his.

"I'll come back when we wake up to get your car okay?"

I nod slowly, letting my tiredness take over as my head falls back against the seat.

12:30

I wake up to the sound of silence. It was oddly nice seeing as in my house, there were people always screaming and making noise. I sit up in what I'm guessing was Ethan's bed and look around to see he was nowhere in sight. I get up from the bed and walk out into the hall, into the end room to see him preparing two small homemade pizzas. He must have heard my footsteps because when I turned the corner his eyes glanced over. 

"Ehi, hai dormito bene?" He smiles kindly. (Hey, did you sleep well?)

"Credo di sì, come siamo tornati? Devo essere svenito in macchina." (I think so, how did we get back? I must have passed out in the car)

"Sì, l'hai fatto, sembrava esausto." (Yeah you did, you looked exhausted)

"Mi sento ancora esausto" I sigh. (I still feel exhausted)

"Probabilmente dovrei parlare inglese perché ho bisogno di imparare" He chuckles. (I should probably be speaking English because I need to learn.

"Well whenever you need help Ethan, let me know" I tell him with a smile.

"I will, grazie Eve" He nods appreciatingly. "Are you hungry? I made small pizzas" 

"Yeah" I nod. "I'd love one"

13:40 

I had just driven home from Ethan's apartment and man I was tired. I kept almost falling asleep at the wheel so I had to stop off for a coffee to wake me up. I pull into the gates of Nonna's house and park in the spot she always has her car parked. I get out of the car and head towards the front door, opening it and walking inside.

Immediately I head into the sitting room to see everyone, including Damiano were all sitting around on the couches, fearful looks on their faces. 

"Eve! Oh my god!" My mum exclaims, getting up from her seat and wrapping her arms around me. "Where the hell were you? Where's your jacket? Were you out there all night? Why are your eyes so bloodshot? Where did you go? Why didn't you come home?"

"Jesus Maria, let the girl breathe" My dad cuts my mums off from asking anymore questions. I turn to look at Damiano who looked just as broken as me which made me feel the smallest bit better. 

"I needed some time to myself, I stayed at Ethan's" I admit. That surely got my ex boyfriends attention.

"Ethan's? Why didn't you stay at Vic's with Damiano?" My mum pushes.

"Because I didn't want to" I spit harshly before walking out of the room. I wasn't even in the house for a minute but I had already given up. I needed a hot bubble bath. 

16:50

I chose to have a shower instead, I had been sitting in it for the last hour and half while my music played loudly to drown out the excessive groans of pain and trying not to cry. I had ignored my mum and dad's calls for food lunch earlier on, in hopes they would just leave me alone. I didn't want to see anyone.

I decide I can't let my skin prune up any longer. I get out carefully and grab a towel from the rack only to notice myself in the mirror. My skin was completely red from the piping hot water I had let fall on me and my body was visibly skinner, my eye bags were excessive and my blue eyes were dull. I couldn't even bare to look at myself. I wrap a towel around myself as I weakly walk down the hall to my room and shut the door behind me. You know that feeling where you're constantly on edge of breaking down into tears no matter what you're doing? Yeah that was me. 

I didn't even have the energy to move or change out of my towel so I just lay there... staring up at the ceiling in my cold empty room.