restless_heart_syndrome_

Chapter 3

I'm a guy who fakes a smile... walking down the streets... just like I am made of skin and bones. No heart, my heart is in minnesota. Music has always been my soul... but even this doesn't bring me the same love as it did years ago. There is only one reason why I am still here and playing. Because of her!! 10 years ago I promised her that I would never give up and always keep going. You have no idea how hard it is to keep that promise... but I won't break it. Because I would never disappoint my Adrienne. I wonder if she heard the new record... did she like it? Or does she even care? Every day I am fighting with myself... should I just call her? Or leave her alone...

It's been an incredible week for us. Every radio in the city played our songs up and down. I felt like we were making a positive move with this record. I've been on my way to the studio to meet up with Tre & Mike and our management. Our manager has just told us that he has incredible news for us. While walking down the streets, my mind was kinda away. I didn't even recognize all those people who were asking for an autograph or a photo. My hand is signing all those autograph cards and my lips are faking a smile for those photos... "Billie ... Billie ? Billie!!" screamed Brian. When he did notice that I was completely out of my mind he just grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the girl group who tried to jump on me. Brian my bodyguard, always tells me to keep some distance because you cannot know if everyone has good intentions. "Are you okay? ... Billie?" I needed a second to come back to myself "yes, i'm fine, thanks". I did pull my arm away from him. It always feels a bit weird when he touches me. Since Brian told me a few years ago that he had feelings for me, I feel like a monster. There was a time, after Adie was gone ... where we both did get a little bit closer. It was wrong from me. I had no feelings for him, but I did know that he loved me ... After I did end our little flirt, I am not really able to look him in the eyes. I did hurt him ... !! he is such a sweet, big bear and doesn't deserve to be treaten like that. I wished I could give him what he needed, but I don't love him ...